Scarlet Dreams

Wednesday June 24

"Quick! What did you dream about?" I asked her, gently shaking her awake.
"I a puppy!", she said.
"A puppy? What did you do?"
"Woot woot!" (Barking).

Help me.

Dreamt Sarah and Dana and I were in Dad's living room, our old house, at night, sleeping on couches or something. Both of them asked me if I loved my dog and I said yes and snuggled down next to him. Sarah fell asleep. As soon as she did, Ziggy stood up fast and started howling/barking/growling like someone was in room with us. I asked if Dana was still awake and she said yes. We both gripped hands and suddenly heard a sound from behind us. I had blankets trapped over me and couldn't move well. Sleep paralysis in dream. Then I heard a strange, high pitch, doll's voice loudly screaming "help me". Dana motioned for me to turn on light and each time the doll screamed, I tried to hoist myself awake, over towards the light switch. I tried to swing myself in my body very slowly until I was able to turn light on and was still trapped. The doll voice got louder until I was able to shake myself completely awake. Terrified.

Dad

Had an awful, realistic dream. Dad found out he had cancer and was gone within a few days after diagnosis. Everything is blurry now, don't remember a lot. Only that after he was gone, I remember a photo of Scarlet sitting on Dad's lap in the rocker flashed on my TV's screensaver and I began thinking how lucky they both were to have such a wonderful relationship. I remember saying aloud a prayer to Dad, telling him I loved him and missed him and that I'll basically try to hand down all the love and knowledge I got from him onto Scarlet. I am not a believer but I do know he has repeatedly asked/hoped we'd believe someday. I guess in my dream I believed in him being there to hear my prayer, kind of. I don't remember much that happened in the dream, only a really sad, mournful feeling now. :(

Progesterone Overload

(Explanation before dream: I am trying to get pregnant again so our babies are close in age, and decided to try taking progesterone cream after ovulation. This is my first month (and funnily enough, first day) trying it. It is to help a luteal phase defect.)

I dreamt a LOT more than this, but this part really stuck with me because, yikes! Hehe.. Okay I don't remember much except I was in the bathroom about to rub the cream into my belly but for some reason I decided to sniff it and see if it had an aromatic smell. Some of the cream got onto my nose and suddenly I felt violently I'll. I couldn't walk straight and I thought I'd pass out. I ran/stumbled into the kitchen to tell Devin what was wrong... This is all I remember.

The strange thing is, my temperature yesterday was kind of low and I wasn't sure if it was because I woke up freezing (from camping in a tent) or if I was too warm the day before and didn't really ovulate like I thought I did, so I was feeling kind of miserable thinking I didn't ovulate this cycle (since it's pretty late in my cycle). Today of course I woke with a high temp again, so today I start the process of rubbing in progesterone cream. Hopefully it works and hopefully it doesn't actually make me dizzy like in my dream.

Pet

Dreamt a raccoon got into our house and became a pet. Then later on, Scarlet ran to back porch and outside before I even had a chance to react. Ran out there and she was toppled over but biting at Bear. I was terrified he hurt her, but surprisingly he didn't jump on her.

Before waking up, I dreamt I was looking out living room window and saw what looked like a strand of white Christmas lights in the sky/stars in the shape of a tornado whirring around.. I watched it, mesmerized. Then it swirled around down towards the window. Suddenly wind hit the window HARD and a loud crack was made like when the windows are hit by a gust of wind. Frightened me, but showed me how wind moves, etc, in dream. (Supposedly..)

Bad dream.

Dreamt I was at Sarah's, Erin's and Mom's apartment but in the dream it was actually Dad's pond. Erin was watching Scarlet wade in the pond and splash around. Apparently I was holding onto some money of theirs for safe-keeping but I didn't realize I was, so I couldn't find it. Sarah and I were looking around in their "apartment" (pond) for the lost money when one of us noticed a great big, black snake on one of the rocks around the pond. I freaked out (I think, or maybe it was Sarah who noticed first) and yelled "snake!". We both kind of ran away from it because we were kind of close. Then I yelled at Erin who was lounging on a reclining lawn chair to grab Scarlet quickly because there was a snake by the pond. She was either in shock or too afraid to move, but it was too late anyways. Scarlet ran off right towards where the snake was and he lashed out and I started to shake my head to wake myself up and my vision started to blur when I saw him wrap his body around her neck. I don't ever want to go through something like that again. :( :(

An old dream from last year..

Found a draft from last summer that I remember typing on my phone while camping one morning.

Dreamt me and Devin and Scarlet and a big group of people were being chased. We had another baby, named Ruby. We packed essentials. Scarlet had a small toy, she was a little older. Ruby had a bigger stuffed animal. We were found on an island I think. Dream all jumbled. We walked up to a couple houses that were in a wooded area of the island. We asked for help, but the guy there just told us to come in. I was a little hesitant but we needed shelter and food. All of us, probably 15-20 people, came in. His house was a mansion on the inside. He led us upstairs and we found rooms. At some point I remember running. I think we found out that the man was bad. I was looking for our essential things we packed. I found them inside a bench that also worked as a storage area. I grabbed as much as possible and ran with my family. At some point the bag of essentials wasn't in my hands and there were two bags on the side of a street. (The bad man's hallway turned into an alleyway of some sort).

Okay, I wrote this last summer and completely forgot what else happened right after that, but I DO remember bad guys chasing us from the alley and soon enough the alley turning into a river/waterfall. I remember holding onto one of the girls and Devin holding onto the other. I vaguely remember the toy Scarlet had being significant in the dream. Like it had gone missing and then found (or maybe when we jumped off the waterfall, the toy fell out of her hands and was gone forever. I don't know.) I swam with Scarlet (or Ruby, whichever daughter I was holding) to an island and waited/started my search for Devin, the other daughter, and the rest of the gang.

Babies.

Dreamt I had two other babies along with Scarlet. One a girl, named Ruby, with short dark curls. The other a boy, name unknown. They were playing with my friend Anna's family's kids but it was my friend Dana in place of Anna. Apparently "Dana's sister" was getting married. After that I was going to park my car to go to the ceremony and Dana told me to park it a couple blocks away since I'd be leaving early. (I was confused, because there were so many empty spaces right out front. I figured she was mad at me.)

Shortly after this, I overheard my uncles Brian and Dave on my dad's side talking. Dave was telling Brian about the place he stayed in. Apparently he stayed in the Capitol of the country and they paid him to stay there. It was weird because it's my uncle Brian that travels for work.

School.

Dreamt I was still in school. There was some form of math I particularly loved.

All I remember after that was walking with Devin through a flooded area that looked like my old childhood property. We felt brave and wanted to have sex but a teacher could walk past any moment.

Movie.

Dreamt I was in a movie. I was supposedly going to die in the end. I was with this guy that was sometimes Devin, sometimes different actors. At one point we were both sitting next to each other taking pictures and I was the one with the camera. I said something like, "Oh sure, let the dying girl take the pictures." He laughed and I took a picture of his reaction. Sometime earlier I remember being outside with him. I think there was something wrong with my lungs... or maybe I had gotten hurt and he had to sew me up near my lungs. We were outside in wintertime and I remember mentioning that with my luck I was going to get pneumonia and die or something.

Slide.

Dreamt I was on this big slide (many stories). When I got to the bottom (the last few levels looked more like stairs with your average bathroom linoleum, and the last few steps were very broken) I realized I was wearing heavy winter gear. I took off everything and set it at the bottom of the steps. I kept the coat and something else for Scarlet since she would grow into it. I know I was trying to compete with someone and get to the bottom before the person. I think I left the winter gear there as proof I finished before them.

Before that I was shopping with Devin, my mom and my aunt. Devin had the cart and was checking out when I saw mom and my aunt Erin. Erin told me I could have gotten some kind of perfume that was cheaper that I liked more than the one I had gotten. Too late, though, Devin brought the cart over with everything paid for.

Slide.

Dreamt I was on this big slide (many stories). When I got to the bottom (the last few levels looked more like stairs with your average bathroom linoleum, and the last few steps were very broken) I realized I was wearing heavy winter gear. I took off everything and set it at the bottom of the steps. I kept the coat and something else for Scarlet since she would grow into it. I know I was trying to compete with someone and get to the bottom before the person. I think I left the winter gear there as proof I finished before them.

Before that I was shopping with Devin, my mom and my aunt. Devin had the cart and was checking out when I saw mom and my aunt Erin. Erin told me I could have gotten some kind of perfume that was cheaper that I liked more than the one I had gotten. Too late, though, Devin brought the cart over with everything paid for.

Drowning.

Dreamt I was camping still. Someone, possibly Denise, cooed " Look, Scarlet's walking!" I looked over and saw Scarlet walking on a dock in front of me. Suddenly she fell in and I jumped in the water and pulled her up over me so she wasn't in the water. Then somehow Devin's baby niece fell in next to us and I had to keep both of them up. It started to become difficult and at one point his niece bobbed under the water a split second. Finally someone came over to get them, but Devin's family hated me the rest of the night because I couldn't hold both babies up out of the lake.

Careless Store

Dreamt I was hanging out with an old high school friend. We were both in a store and there were clothes everywhere. Even on the floor, just strewn about the place. It was a mess. I help the workers clean up the place and put clothes on racks, etc, and when I finish a grateful worker comes up to me and tells me I will probably not get rewarded for my helpfulness, since the store is really careless. I didn't care, though.

Lots Of Tongue

Okay, I might have been going through major sleep paralysis in the first bit of my dream. I know it was lightning and down-pouring, I remember looking out the window. (In my waking life, it was actually storming that night, so maybe it was projecting into my dreams..) I was in the process of awakening, but couldn't move. I remember trying to yell to Devin, who was beside me in bed, "Wake me up! Wake me up!" I felt like I couldn't do it myself, and I could only whisper through my lips. I could hear myself, in my dream, yelling, and myself, outside of my dream, whispering. It was eerie. Finally Devin rolls over, tells me I'm fine, and goes back to bed. Eventually I finally awake completely, but right beforehand I felt someone touch my left hand. I was freaking out thinking a ghost tapped my hand. I couldn't sleep for awhile after that, so I wrote down what happened.

Finally I went back to sleep, and I dreamt that I was visiting my dad and he told me he read my dream blog, about some dream where I was kissing a Quin Twin with "lots of tongue". I was blushing in my dream, embarrassed that he read my blog, but in my waking life I have seriously never dreamt about kissing either twin with 'lots of tongue', or any tongue for that matter - god dammit. :( That was a weird dream, too. The next part I wrote down I don't remember the details, just that my dad's workplace was making a documentary. Then I'm walking to my childhood home. I get to the back porch, and enter the utility room. There are dog beds in the closet area of the utility room, and my dog Bear and Ziggy are there, along with two dogs, Wyatt and Tuffy, whom have passed away in my waking life. I remember my dog Bear kept wanting to bite Tuffy. Tuffy was a fat dachshund, so he was a small little guy compared to Bear's St. Bernard/Lab mix. I was really scared Bear would tear Tuffy to shreds, so I kept forcing myself between them to protect Tuffy. At some point, Bear quit bothering him, so I walked to the living room and looked out the door. It was raining really hard and then these fish the size of big northerns started falling to the ground along with the rain. I got scared and backed away from the door. Then I went back to the utility room and instead of the dogs there, my boyfriend's sister Cherish and her boyfriend Monte were there sitting on a couch (in the utility room, I don't know why). I decided to call Devin, my boyfriend, to see where he was and I heard a little kid's voice in the background. I joked about hearing a kid and tease him about cheating on me and having a family started with some other woman. He got quiet and really defensive then. I bawled, realizing it was true. Cherish gets mad at Devin for what he did, but I leave the house and hang up on him. I decided to walk into the woods, towards the road. I call my aunt Erin and tell her what happened. Then I hang up again and walk some more in the woods. I meet up with Sara Quin and strangely we seem to be in a relationship or something. It doesn't last for long, though. First, Devin's cousin Trevor starts chasing us in the woods. Then, I project out of my body and some woman is taking the place as Sara's girlfriend/the one getting chased. I'm just a third wheel trying to help them get to safety. Eventually we get to the road. It's autumn, cold, rainy. Leaves are falling from the painted-orange trees. A car pulls up and I look over at the other two and think "We're safe." They have the same look to them. Then a guy gets out and he looks like Taylor Handley (again, I had to look this guy up. I've only seen him in one thing, and it was Dawson's Creek a few years ago. It's strange how the brain stores hidden, insignificant information and visuals.) When I saw him exit the car and tell us to get in, I thought, "Great. Just like in the movies, he's supposed to be my knight in shining armor." I don't know why I thought that, but he smiled arrogantly, so it just got worse from there. The guy chasing us was closing in, and although I was thinking over whether I wanted to deal with this guy or the one chasing me, I eventually got in the car with Sara and her new girlfriend.

At some point in this dream, I actually remembered dreaming about the denim clothes that I wrote in this blog. I think writing these dreams down for so long is starting to make the memory of my waking life better.