The End Of The World.

What I ate/drank the night before: DiGiorno's Pepperoni Pizza and Constant Comment Decaf Tea. Plus a handful of Quakes Rice Snacks in Ranch flavor and a glass of water.

Dreamt I was making out with a black woman. She was a vampire, too. Then the vampire disappears and I am walking down a street with my grandma Milly. We spot my aunt Donna and uncle Larry walking into a dance hall, so we follow. I look around and see that everyone is eating at a billion different tables. There isn't much room, so I walk over to a table with a few empty seats and I sit down. A few seconds later someone tells me that the seats are taken, so I and this little girl that followed me to the table walk around the dance hall to find a different place to eat. We get to the very back of the room and I sit down at this table that this fatter boy and Rhianna is sitting at. The boy asks me a question and I can't quite understand him, so I answer honestly and he laughs rudely (along with Rhianna) and tells me he was being sarcastic. I look over at the little girl (she's about three or four) and roll my eyes. We're stuck sitting with a bunch of assholes. I find out from Rhianna that the dance takes place to find your soulmate. She points to a mirror on the floor and tells me that she sees my soulmate in the reflection and that she'll email the soulmate so that we can find each other. I look at my phone and see an email coming in and it shows a picture of Rhianna and below it (this is supposed to be me for some reason) is a picture of Betty White. (I might have to explain this.. My friend and I are constantly calling ourselves Rose and Blanche off Golden Girls, because we're goofy and we act like them a lot (me being a bit of an idiot and she being a bit of a slut, ha, so I guess my subconscious picked up on that..)). Rhianna and the fat boy end up leaving and I spot an old friend, Kayla, walking over to me so I stop to talk to her for a bit. She tells me that her dad is trying to start a business but that he's placing it in the wrong area. (Apparently he's starting this resort/bistro/cell phone fixing company inside of a hospital). I tell her that I remember seeing him walking around town with blueprints the other day. Then Kayla leaves and I look up at the sky (the ceiling is opened in parts to bring in a breeze). I smile at how pretty the sun looks. It's making the sky a bright blue color. There are dark clouds that the sun is beating through, and it casts an eerie yet gorgeous glow. Suddenly the clouds get thicker, though, gathering into darker and darker colors. Almost black. I hear a loud booming sound --not a crackling like thunder, more like a huge explosion-- Everyone starts screaming. The clouds have a faint red glow like fire making its way through. The song "Who's Gonna Drive You Home?" by The Cars comes on in the dancehall and I get a text message from an old black lady that only says "last song". I cry, thinking the sun exploded and that the world will end. That I won't know who my soulmate is. That I won't be able to breathe or think ever again. I won't be remembered. The little girl that was with me is crouched down by the wall behind me, so I grab her and put my arms around her and have her situated so that she is slightly under the table for shelter. I know we're going to die in a few seconds but I want her to feel safe anyways. I look back up at the sky and the clouds have turned a bright red. I look back down at the little girl and hold her tighter. I feel piercing hot liquid hit my back that feels like drops of lava. I start thinking that we're about to burn up, but then a really cold breeze hits my back and I can feel frost sticking to me. I don't know what's happening, but its very painful. I start shaking myself awake because I can't take the pain anymore. Within a few seconds I wake up to myself swaying my hips from side to side.

Wow, I had to look up the lyrics to this song. It's crazy how this song could actually make sense in this dream..

The Exorcist.

Dreamt I was in this house that was Cherish's and Monte's (Devin's sister and her fiance). I was going through shelves and organizing things into their correct places. I had the drawers out of their shelves and they were on this bed that was in the living room. Next to the shelves were all these extremely colorful statues and nicknacks. I guess it was early, early morning and I had drank the night before. Also, it seems Devin and I had broken up but I was still friends with Cherish, because she understood why I was drunk. She came out of her bedroom and I asked her if I woke her up and I was sorry if I did. She told me I was loud last night from drinking too much and I apologize and tell her that I can see things. I point to the statues and nicknacks on the bed and tell her I've been seeing three kinds of ghosts. The nicknacks are all shaped and painted to look like the ghosts. I had made these statues and nicknacks the night before, going crazy from all the hauntings. (This is where it gets weird. When I mention to her what the ghosts look like, they kind of appear behind me and when I turn to look, they disappear in a puff of smoke.) I tell her that the first ghosts that started haunting me was of an old woman. (She kind of looked like Anne Ramsey of the film Throw Momma From The Train). The next ghost I was haunted by was this creepy old man with dark circles around his eyes. (He reminded me of a character from the film Haunted Honeymoon, but I couldn't find the right guy when I looked up pictures). Then I pointed to this hand-statue and explained that the third thing that haunted me was that whenever I laid down in bed, a bunch of these hands would appear and start pushing me into the bed, attempting to suffocate me. Then the dream switches to the past and I'm rollerskating down this crowded street in bad weather and eventually I spot Devin, so I skate over and we start walking. (I'm not roller skating anymore.) It seems a tornado might blow through and someone tells us to find shelter, so we go into this broken down and abandoned building. Devin disappears and I am with this person that looks like a mix between AJ Langer (of My-So-Called Life) and Tegan Quin (lol, I know they look nothing alike, but they kept changing into each other throughout the rest of the dream) and there is also another person with us. This other person is going to try to give me an exorcism to rid the ghosts/demons that are afflicting me. I notice that I'm wearing this short black dress and black knee-high stockings. We get to this bedroom that is blackened from a fire and really grimy (AJ Langer/Tegan is carrying me). The exorcist tells me to lay in this bed to call forth the ghost-hands so that she can expel them from me. I start to lay down, but Tegan/AJ Langer sits down first and pushes me onto her lap so that I'm technically not laying down yet. She doesn't want the ghosts to appear and try to kill me. Meanwhile the exorcist was setting things up and once finished she tells me that we are ready to begin. I freak out and sit up in Tegan/AJ Langer's lap and hug her tight. Then I lower myself down onto the bed and I and AJ Langer/Tegan are both crying hysterically and I start feeling the hands trying to suffocate me by pressing me into the bed. Suddenly everything changes and my dream switches to two women (that look like Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson) having sex. Alyson was wearing exactly what I wore. Then the vision of them gets blurry and further away and it seems to be a movie that is on this television at an airport. I am standing in the airport watching the TV and wondering how on earth this is suitable to show in such a public and child-friendly area like an airport. Then my dream became lucid and I blamed myself, wondering how I could allow a sex scene on television with all kinds of children around in my dream. I woke a few seconds later.

The Mario Dream.

This dream was a lot like Mario in a way. I haven't played Mario in ages, so I have no clue why I dreamt this. I'm holding onto this vine that is hanging from the heavens and sliding back down to Earth. There are even coins connected to the vines. (No joke.) I am a guy in this dream, too. When I reach the ground, a woman comes up to me and tells me that she's my mom. I tell her that she can't possibly be my mother, that I already have one. Somehow she gets killed by some evil guy, so I bury her in this shallow, flooded grave. I start climbing back up the vine with coins to reach the heavens (I guess I was killed as well), but I get scared of the heights I am at and I start sliding back down. Suddenly my dream plays-over the beginning of the dream and when the woman comes up to me to tell me she's my mom, I believe her this time.

The Most Influential Band Ever.

Dreamt my aunt (she's going back to school) had homework and had to answer who the most influential band was. I thought it was The Beatles, so I looked online to be sure.

The Cat Guy.

Dreamt I was this bigger black lady and obtained a cat somehow. I wanted to keep the cat, but Devin and his dad both said that they had to drive the cat to Texas. (Maybe it wandered a little too far off from home??) I kept the cat nearby, hoping they'd forget that I had it with me. At some point the cat turned into a guy (with his dad) and I turned into myself. I am on the streets with Frasier, Niles, and Daphne from the television show Frasier, and we are in this crowd of people. The weather looked like it was about to rain, it seemed chilly. I think we might have been doing a walk-for-cure type thing. I remember looking at our feet and noticed that Niles was barefoot, Frasier had on these ballet-flat like shoes with socks on (I'm totally serious.), and I was wearing ballet flats only with no socks on. I didn't check out Daphne's feet, I guess. Anyways, Niles was complaining about not wearing any shoes and that the rocks were hurting his feet, and Frasier snapped back at him about why he didn't put shoes on this morning. It was really strange how they acted so much like their characters on the show. Anyways, the cat that turned into a guy ends up going ahead of us in the crowd and Niles keeps a close eye on him. I'm back to being the bigger black lady again and I can see the future. The dad of this guy tells us that he'll go after him and bring him back, but I know (because I can tell the future) that if the dad goes after him, then we will never find this 'cat-guy' again.. He'll definitely disappear into the crowd forever if the dad follows him, so I went after the guy myself. I brought him back to the group and kept changing little things that would effect the future later on.

It "Felt" Too Real.

Still sick!

Dreamt I was in my parents' old house. I could fly/float from one piece of furniture to the next. I landed on the TV (an old console one) and that a pile of movies and christmas cards toppled over, only to have them fall in a perfect pile again on the floor. I found it odd, but didn't think anything of it that I was dreaming, which I normally do in situations like that. Also, I noticed I could control things so well that I thought I couldn't possibly be dreaming because it all felt too realistic. I'm writing "felt" in bold because for some reason I happened to be Lily Munster in the dream and my husband was John Goodman. We were both musicians going through a divorce.

The Jail Cell

I'm sick..

Dreamt I was taking my temperature but that the thermometer would not stay in my mouth long enough. When it finally beeped saying it was finished, I checked it and it was at 99.something.

Then I was in this prison visitation/trial. It was more set up like a I was supposed to pick someone out of a lineup, only they were all in on it. The guy on the left started moving his bare feet around (he was sitting in a chair, in handcuffs, and was wearing bright orange clothing). I noticed he was fidgeting with his toenails. Suddenly I see something underneath a nail and I sense it's something that will help him unlock his handcuffs. I tell Tegan Quin, who happens to be beside me, and she tells me to go get help. I rush over to this guy that looks like Tom Waits when he played in Bram Stoker's Dracula. He's a janitor and is cleaning jail cells on the opposite side of this big room we are all in. At first he can't hear me very well because his hearing is bad, but eventually he understands. I go back to where Tegan was but she and the rest of the people I was with are gone. Apparently the bad guy had taken them somewhere. I see the bad guy come at me so I run down this hallway and into this bathroom and try to lock the door but I somehow end up UNlocking it instead, so he walks in and puts me in a jail cell with Crystal Bowersox from American Idol.

The Lazy Fat Trucker In Me.

Dreamt I was standing in my parents' driveway. There was a pinball game spinning around in the air (as if being forced into Earth's gravitational pull). It kept getting closer. More games kept spinning and falling into the road. In my head I'm thinking these games were bought and they were being shipped from a store this way. I walk into the house and I go into the kitchen. There is this cartoon version (I have never in my life ever remember dreaming in cartoons, mind you) of Bruce Springsteen. He was showing off his ass in his jeans. Then he'd follow me around the house singing like Elvis with his hips swaying. At first I thought Bruce was acting too much like my boyfriend's dad, trying to get attention all the time and everything by being goofy, so I ran away and told Bruce to leave me alone. Then my boyfriend's dad does show up and I realize I'm dreaming so I try to switch dreams. I turned myself into a really fat, lazy semi driver to get away and woke up eventually.

Movie Making

Dreamt that Devin made a video but that the audio sync was off at the end and also the credits rolled by too fast. Also, Tegan and Sara were in my dream but they looked younger. They even had their heads shaved and were wearing the poofy vests in my dream. It was odd.

Stray Cats

Dreamt I was editing a video that was in black and white. Then I was walking around in the town I grew up in (Warrens) and I ran into an old crush. He ended up giving me a kiss on the cheek and I felt that I was cheating on Devin by him kissing my cheek, so I hid from Devin in Wal-Mart. I was crouching down behind racks ofclothes and everything.. Then somehow I get to "the upstairs" in Wal-Mart (I never saw a Wal-Mart with an upstairs, but ooookay ) and climbed out a window and saw "my husband's" car. Suddenly I'm married? I don't know. I watched the movie My Cousin Vinny that morning, so the car was the burgundy one and the "husband" was a young Joe Pesci. I walked across the roof of Wal-Mart and into another window and ended up in an apartment. It was christmas. There was a tree up, ornaments, presents, stockings, even a fireplace. It felt homey. I looked out the window again and it was pouring outside (rain, not snow) and there were stray cats all over the place trying to get into the house any way they could.

Broom Fight

I've been sick with the flu since last night, so what I ate before bed (which I woke up every other hour throwing up) were sips of Sierra Mist and water and also a few crackers.

I dreamt today in the afternoon that I was fighting some guy in my parents' garage. I had this broom and was using this to defend myself.

The Poor Little Ham.

Before bed, I had hot chocolate and two chocolatey cookies for a midnight snack. Perhaps chocolate induces some form of torture in dreams..

Dreamt I was in a car with Devin and his family. We were swerving around curves, etc, in farmland areas. I noticed this small, burgundy shed following us, going across the road and down the hill that was beside the road. At first I thought the shed was on wheels or something, but began to notice a rope tied around it. When the terrain got too rough, I noticed the shed was breaking in places. Then I heard a squeal coming from the shed, though it almost sounded more like a baby screaming. I noticed that the rope that was attached to the shed was coming from this slaughterhouse. I started freaking out. I looked at the shed that was falling apart in places and by now the roof was off. Inside the shed was this huge cooked ham in this roasting pot. (I don't know why this "pig that was squealing" was a cooked ham, but that's what I saw.) Anyways, the shed reached inside the slaughterhouse and I could hear the sound of blades sawing into the poor.. ham. I started bawling in the car and Devin's sister tried to cheer me up and pat me on the back. Woke up to hearing Devin watching some movie where a woman was screaming maniacally.

Waiting For Something.

Dreamt I was in my parents' old kitchen and I was playing a game of darts with Tegan & Sara's guitarist Ted Gowans. After that, he left and I took a shower and some guy that was also there when I was shooting darts was peeking in at me from the kitchen, which for some weird reason I really didn't mind at all. Some time after this, I appeared on this huge platform that kept circling around on this lake. I was with a billion different people, and we seemed to be waiting for something to happen. It was dark out, but I believe it was daytime because at one point the sky itself was a bright light blue with these dark clouds dispersing. The lake itself was still dark along with the atmosphere, but only above us, high up into the heavens, was it bright. It felt eerie. At that point I thought we were all going to die. Like a meteorite was headed for us or something. Also, since the platform we were all on was circling around in the water, I thought that the lake was starting to make an eddy. Then I dreamt I was back in high school, only it felt more like elementary school or something. I was with a bunch of adults my age at these desks. Everyone had to do this math problem that was on this flash card and at first I was rockin' it, thinking I knew exactly what I needed to do, but then I forgot the initial problem and some woman beside me had the flash card and was studying it for the longest time. I didn't want to lean in and look and have the teacher yell at me thinking I was cheating, but I knew I'd get the answer wrong if I didn't know the problem. Then I couldn't see my paper, so I used my phone as a light but my aunt Donna (she must have been the teacher or something) turned a bright light on in the room and yelled at me for using my phone. Then I went to a secondhand store and my aunt Erin and I started looking at these packages of shorts and boxing gloves you could get in a set. One had the band The Kinks on it. I was contemplating on that one for some reason, but then I saw these adorable blue shoes with yellow anchors all over them. They were ballet flats.

Gay Ending.

Dreamt I was in college, corresponding through the internet. I'm working on math. Very confusing and impossible fractions, to be exact. My mom and sister and some random old lady are trying to help me with my homework, but at some point the old lady distracts me by noticing a pearl bracelet I'm wearing. I explain something about it, and then I get back to my homework and have to click on this link to talk to a small group of other classmates online and the link wouldn't show, it was broken. Then my mom gives me this graphic novel and tells me excitedly about it. It's this woman that looks only slightly like her. She's a detective and going through a divorce. (In real life, my mom has always wanted to be a detective thanks to shows like Matlock, Murder She Wrote, Perry Mason, Law & Order, etc.. She's also divorced.) So I look through the book, I remember lots of reds, yellows and blues in the book. Also, at some point the woman grabs a bunch of produce from a supermarket and starts chucking the fruit at her ex-husband's house.

This next part I cannot for the life of me make out. It's a bunch of scribbles on my journal. Here's the closest I can come up with:

Took photo camera sound T&S boyman ??? <- Boyman? Batman? Boothawn? Boy's hawn? I don't know.

Then I'm walking up the pond road where my family used to live and the ground is covered in snow. I notice my mom's legs sticking out of a plastic container-tub behind an electric fence. I go over and realize the electric fence isn't on, so I climb through and pull my mom out and she's drunk off her ass. Apparently she fell into it and didn't realize. So I walk her up the hill/road while she staggers.

Then I'm in a Walmart parking lot, looking into the back of a truck. Some guy is sitting in it and he has three stuffed animals that I had owned when I was little. One of them was "Frankie", my monster of frankenstein doll I cherished as a kid. I pointed him out and told the guy I wanted the doll back. He grabbed it but the doll was tangled up in the thread of the two other dolls. I climbed into the truck to help untangle him and the truck started moving and eventually parked in the driveway of the house I grew up in. The dream turned slightly sexual for a few minutes. The guy I was with kept brushing his hands near my thighs.

Then I'm in this city hall and there are tables all over the place, booklets with the word "Homophobia" and pictures of rainbows splashed on the covers. A person with the booklet tells me I missed the meeting. We were supposed to talk about the negative effects of homophobia. I talk to the person for a few seconds about it, and then I walk out of the building. I start walking down the street and I have my dog Moses with me. (He's a tiny little guy, half-Papillon, half-Chihuahua). I see my brother Joran in the doorway of an arcade room and he smiles at Moses and hugs me and says he misses us (the family. He lives in Florida.) Then he asks me where Sarah (sister) and Mom live, and I tell him they live in town above Sportsman's Bar and he looks half in anger, half in disappointment and says "I wonder why they never visit me, then." We both walk into the arcade room and Joran starts playing one of the games. My uncle Thane is standing next to him also playing a game. Joran wins a game and starts typing his name in but for some reason I saw, "Wecarealot" Which is a Faith No More song. Which is a band Joran loves. I point at the high scores and say, "That looks like "We Care A Lot" and Joran laughs and starts singing the song and some girl turns around behind us and puts her arm around Joran and sings along as well (and at some point they sing the words "gays and lesbos" in the song.. I remember that.)

The Evil Couple.

Dreamt I was pregnant and in the closet at my parent's old house. I was putting clothes on and Devin kind of pushes me or something, and I say that it's unsafe for the baby. Then, during the day, Devin and I are walking from the old house to my Grandma's old house (just down the driveway). Mine and Devin's outside dogs got out of the fence and wandered off somewhere and I also couldn't find my dog Moses. I thought he was mad at me because I was pregnant and he wanted to stay being my 'baby'. When I get to my Grandma's, I notice two cars in their driveway. A red truck and a black hatchback. I elbow Devin, confused. An old couple get out of the truck and they walk up to us. The guy introduces himself and asks us if we've ever met Doug (my dad). Apparently my dad is throwing a party at the house (and also, apparently he and his girlfriend are living at my grandma's now). I say yes, I have met Doug (I don't mention he's my dad, though). By now, the old couple got younger. Maybe in their mid-to-late-fifties. About my dad's age. The guy gets a weird look on his face and says, "He's okay. But I heard he was gay."

I'm fuming.

I snap back that even if he was, it wouldn't make him any different than if he wasn't. The guy gets angry with me for responding this way.

It's nighttime now and I am walking with my sister Sarah, who's behind me with her hands on my shoulders, my mom, with her hands on my sister's shoulders, and my dad's girlfriend, with her hand's on my mom's shoulders. (FYI, this would never happen. My mom and my dad's girlfriend have never met and never intend to.) We're scared of the dark and walking back to the old house because it's the only house with electricity on. (In real life, both houses are abandoned now.) I get to the front door and reach for the light switch just inside. I turn around and Mom and Joanna are gone. Sarah and I walk back around the house towards the driveway and see people crouching behind a car. I notice the older couple has both Mom and Joanna on the ground and they are trying to kill them. The woman has Mom and she's mutilating her fingers. The guy has Joanna and he's just forcing her into the ground at the moment. My sister and I are full of dread and can barely move. She has scissors on her and I grab them from her and first I try slicing across this guy's back to make him stop, but he won't. So then I start stabbing him and I start yelling for my dad as loud as I can, but realize that my dad is half-deaf, and unable to hear me no matter how loud I was. Then I worry this evil couple has killed my dad and now they're killing his girlfriend and my mom. The couple kind of has my mom and Joanna underneath the car, this is why we can barely reach anyone.

A Weirdass Dream.

Dreamt I was at this campsite. I had a bad case of the runs... I go to the bathroom and when I feel a little better, I exit the bathroom and I'm in this basement with my sister Sarah. We're kind of half-packing to leave, but also planning to stay there that night. She's being her usual irritating bitch-self, so I have to suffer through that as well. I wanted to go to bed, but she wanted to watch Golden Girls. I changed the channel to Dead Zone and she yelled "PUT GOLDEN GIRLS BACK ON!" Then I grabbed pillows to try to get her to realize I was tired and wanted sleep. I also told her that I get to sleep in the bigger couch because I'm taller (barely, but still). Then she tells me that she sleeps with 12 pillows, so I only get one pillow and I give her the rest to make up for it. (Strangely, in real life I have a pillow case that holds two pillows. In my dream, I acknowledged this and took note.) Then, on a sunny afternoon, lol, Devin and I are walking up to these bathrooms at the campground and as soon as I get into it, I sit down and go potty again (the runs, I tell ya). Somehow our astral plane meshes with another and I'm sitting on the toilet in this campground bathroom but also sitting on a bus at the same time. (Devin was in the stall next to me and is sitting beside me on bus). These two guys turn their heads and start talking to us. They tell us that we all played poker once and that even though I didn't know how to play I beat them in one hand. All the while, I'm thinking in my head, "Oh my god, can they see me with my pants down??" I wasn't sure if I was also going to the bathroom on the bus. LOL.. Yikes. Anyways, then this guy that was the son of my old boss gets on the bus with something wrapped in a blanket. He and his "wife" supposedly had a baby real recently. When he brings the baby over for Devin and I to see, he shows us this teeny tiny kitten. That's when, in my head, I think "Oh yeah, his wife is that human cat." Apparently the kitten was a premie, ha ha. God this is a weirdass dream. Anyways, he tells us that he's hoping that when the kitten gets older it might learn to talk. Devin and I both hold the "baby's" paw and he tells us he appreciates that we are even accepting the poor thing, because everyone else he knows thinks it's the product of bestiality. (In the dream I imagined the mom was a woman, just with cat-like features.) I felt bad, because I would have held the kittens hand more, but I was afraid that because it was a newborn it was too fragile, so I was kind of pissed that Devin acted so nurturing compared to me. I kind of glared at him a few times while we coo'd at the baby.

Two Bratty Sisters.

I'm in my grandpa's house, in his kitchen, and there are a bunch of garage sale items out. Two little bratty sisters are hogging this bag of stuffed animals I want to go through (because there is an adorable blue elephant wearing a navy suit that I badly want, but the asshole parents are thinking about buying the whole bag of items), so I walk past them and look around for something else. Then I see this weird contraption that acts like a swing. It has this foot-pajama fabric attached to it with The Beatles all over it. It plays Beatles songs. It seats two kids. I like it. Devin's mom asks me if it's possible I could take apart the fabric and make it a sweater or something. I tell her it's possible. Then I turn around and those bratty sisters are in my damn Beatles swing.

Ham & Cheese Sandwich.

I'm in the dining room of my parents' friends' old house (now demolished). I'm with Devin and we're on my laptop and talking about food. We're hungry. My aunt is about to pick me up to help her with her homework, so I call her quickly and tell her that Devin and I are going to eat a ham and cheese sandwich real quick.



I hate deli meat in real life. I can't stomach it.

Mouse In My House.

* I need to explain why I dreamt this and why it scares me. I found out we have shrews in our basement, and this wouldn't have scared me if Devin hadn't told me that the shrews will eat the mice that die in the mouse traps we have down there. Also, about a week before I found out about said shrews, I was grabbing my phone charger that fell behind my bed and swear something small lashed out at me. Shrew or mouse, I don't care. They're both on my shit list now.


Dreamt I was at my parent's old house in the bedroom I stayed in. I was grabbing clothes and I see this mouse (scared at the sight of my ugly mug, perhaps) and he flies from the dresser to the wall and then shimmies himself around to the door and out into the living room. I run out to the living room (with caution in case the mouse is in the room still) and see the musicians Tegan and Sara Quin. After calming myself down a bit, I tell them what happened.




LOL, I love this short film.. Zack Kahn is incredibly brilliant. You should check out his parodies:

Mouse In My House - Click here for more home videos

I Could Never Be Your Woman

Dreamt I was at my grandfather's house and that I was engaged to be married to my ex-boyfriend. In the dream, I broke it off with him because I wanted to be with a woman instead and he hated me a LOT after that. While he's with his friends talking things over, I'm in a bedroom trying on a bunch of Tegan and Sara shirts I must have recently purchased. They are really poor quality shirts, though. One had the graphics cut off from another shirt and sewn crooked onto a beige shirt with this cropped purple coat over the top. Then my sister's dog is bleeding and he bumps into me and I go to clean my black leggings (that I wore to bed that night) and the water I sprayed on turned them grey in spots, making me realize it was bleach I was using. At first I was pissed but then I kept spraying them until they looked all kinds of different greys. I walk out of the bedroom and I'm at my old house in the kitchen with my friend Dana and a bunch of others. She kisses some skater-looking kid on the cheek and he smiles. Then I'm in this classroom and I'm taking a test and this guy in front of me is an ass and keeps bullying me. During the test, my necklace broke and I was trying to pick up what pieces I could find. After that, I'm outside at night and decide I need to take pictures of the moon because the last time they didn't turn out. I try changing the setting on my camera to a night setting, but when I look up at the sky, I notice that it is cloudy as fuck and there's no way I'll be able to see anything.

How Does It Feel?

Dreamt that whenever I go to bed, I go to this realm. (I know, I know. That makes no sense. Well, maybe you think it does make sense and you're thinking, "Obvious Alyssa is very obvious." But I mean I actually fell into this realm after falling asleep in another dream. It was kind of like Sliders, only the wormhole appears when I go to bed and start dreaming.) Anyways, enough explaining. I dreamt I was in this gay bar with this guy that looked like a mix between Ben Affleck and Stephen Trask (of Hedwig & The Angry Inch).. More or less, he looked like the lead singer of Semi-Precious Weapons with a black modernized mushroom haircut. He and I and 11 other people were competing in this band competition. We chose the song Blue Monday by Orgy. Strangely all the other groups chose a bunch of Christian-sounding songs. After the song was over, I walked to this window seat and the guy and I started making out. I started thinking in my head "Oh god, if we have sex, I'll wake up pregnant and have to explain everything to Devin.." I was so happy the guy I was with was gay, it made me feel like I shouldn't be guilty about not really being attracted to him either. It must have been the non-existant liquor. After that I was outside of the gas station in Warrens and was talking to two old highschool classmates.

Sneaky Dog Fight.

Dreamt my dogs Bear and Ziggy were fighting. I grabbed one dog and put him in the house, but a few minutes later the other dog got in and started fighting with him again. I put one of them back outside and again, the dog outside got in and started fighting again. I kept taking them outside and they'd find ways to get back in.

Musical Robot.

Dreamt I was making a present for my friend Dana. I wasn't sure if I should make her a stuffed animal robot with headphones on, or a robot with some other personality quirk. I also remember the CD I made her played a big part in this dream, maybe I was listening to it in the dream or something.

The Ocean.

Dreamt I was in California. I am on this interstate on-ramp and I'm getting off of it (on foot) and running down this hill to the interstate itself. There are people running to the interstate with me. It's a frenzy just to get to the there. Apparently the ocean is rising tremendously because of melted polar ice caps. When I reach the interstate, I get to this red car that at first drives off without me, but it turns back to pick me up. Once I get to the car I notice the driver is a man and a woman is in the backseat. We drive for awhile but at some point they turn into two women. One was driving (this one kind of looked like Sara Quin's ex-girlfriend Emy) and the other girl was kind of on top of me, facing me. I'm heavily making out with this girl. She's super hot and she even has the Tegan & Sara "mullet" of '07-'08. We cuddle for warmth and we were scared shitless that the water would reach us and we'd drown. I put my hand down the woman's pants and accidentally scratch her. She winces and I apologize a lot and tell her "I'm sorry, I was trying to pet.." and she smiles at this and I finish my sentence with, "..my pet." We kept making out and this Emy driver kind of kept driving/watching us. Unfortunately, the two women turn into the couple from before and all the carefree feelings I had with the lesbian couple went to worrisomeness when I remembered that the ocean is rising. We're driving from California to the middle states as fast as we can. I watch as we pass cars in super speed. The road is even blurry with how fast we are driving. I think in my head that if the water reaches us, I have to wake myself up. While I put my safety belt on, I joke to the driver that it would suck if this interstate went north and not east. He laughs and then makes this seriously horrified look on his face. The only word he could pipe out of his mouth was, "Shit." I look out the window and I notice this ten-feet high water flowing from this field that was down this hill we were driving past. The water was close. I open my door and watch as the water gets nearer. When I look back at him the water is already underneath us. First I think I need to jump out of the car at a certain time like the characters in Titanic did. The driver stays in the car, motionless. Wide-eyed. I stay with him. I reach over towards him and I kiss his forehead and say, "Sorry.. I have to go." I start blinking my eyes and eventually wake up.

Possession.

Dreamt I was walking up to this abandoned, broken down house. It was a white house with the paint peeling off in places. I was instructed by this man that looked like my late great-uncle Walt to kill this evil little girl (that looks like Tina Majorina when she was in Corrina Corrina) that was haunting this home. To explain: I'm not in reality (in the dream, that is), I am in this other "dream realm", perhaps in the mind of this child. Maybe I took this task and I am inside the girl's subconscious and trying to help her or something that needs to get rid of this evil being. The girl had telekinesis and she was a hellion. When I started in the dream realm, I started at the corner of the street. Next to me were these two dollhouses. One looked just like the house I would enter, the other looked newer but torn up as well. I slowly walked up to the house, I knew evil lurked inside. I climbed slowly into the house through a window and she appeared at once as half-smoke, half-human. I fought with her for awhile and finally she blew up into ashes. I put her ashes into a bag and was told by this man (that was coercing me subconsciously) to go upstairs and look for money. I crept slowly up the stairs, still worried that her spirit lingered in the house. I found wads of $5s, $10s and $20s and I put them in my pocket. Then I keep walking and I notice her bedroom door is open. I don't go in, but I throw her ashes into the bedroom and I start to walk away but I notice in the corner of my eye that the ashes turned back to smoke. The smoke lingers down the bed and underneath. I get scared and start running down the stairs. I get to the window I crawled in from and I start crawling back out. When I get all the way out, she slams her half-smoke/half-human body into the window and it shocks me to the core, so I fall. This would have been fine if the dream realm hadn't transformed where we were at. Suddenly the house was in the air and I fall onto this branch in a tree. All the while as she slammed into the window and I fell onto the branch, I turn into the little girl (physically, not mentally).

Chicken Pox.

Dreamt I was camping. My mom is there along with the musician Tegan Quin. We all hear sirens off in the distance and think my dad got into a car accident or something. Mom thinks Dad started drinking again. Then a cop comes to the camper (we're inside the camper this whole time) and tells us that it's my brother Joran that got into the accident. We all start crying and I grab my phone out to call my sister, Sarah. I keep having to re-type in the numbers because I can't seem to get the whole number right. I keep hitting the wrong button towards the end. Finally it starts ringing and instead of getting my sister I get my brother's voicemail. After I tell everyone what the phone did (I know I called my sister's phone, but it magically called Joran's instead) Tegan says, "The technology of today is amazing for knowing to call Joran instead of Sarah.".....

Slight distraction. Everyone disappears and I have this red wig on. I look like Daphne from Scooby Doo. I'm still in the camper, and I look in a mirror and notice these red dots and circles all over my face. Soon enough, there are nurses at my side (dressed in starched white, almost what you'd wear for Tae Kwon Do classes except for the belts) and they grab me by the wrists and tell me I have chicken pox. I get wheeled through this strange astral plane that is blended from the campground and a hospital hallway. I'm weary, tired, so I tell them I need to see Tegan. I hear in this overhead speaker through the hospital hallway a nurse calling her name. Tegan is a doctor in my dream, I guess. This part is strange, because I'm still in this hospital bed the nurses are pushing, and yet I can see Tegan working on some patient in surgery far off in this other astral plane. I'm in this bright, white realm; She's in this orange-lit room. Also, at this point I was passing a lake (and yet still in the hospital) and she was on this island (and yet working on the patient). Finally I get to a room and they give me a gown to put on.

..... I'm back at the campground, outside, and this time my mom and dad are only there. We also have our dog Skippy that I had when I was little (deceased now), and my sister's dog (Romeo) and my dog (Bear) with us. I watch as these little people get into a boat from the dock and drive off. I tell my dad about what happened to Joran, and he says, "Nooo.. Jo Jordan is sick!" I look confused for a second because my dad looks sure of himself. Then I tell him that I heard the cop say the name Joran, not Jo Jordan. My dad finally gets worried and we decide to pack up and drive to where Joran is so we can visit him. We get everything in a van and are about to leave when the dogs run off. I try to run after them, but I can't see them anywhere. I know they are trying to follow where the little people went, though, so I look in the lake and see them swimming in that direction. Mom, Dad and I all try to catch them because I'm worried Bear will get hit by a car.





** Chicken Pox: I know I dreamt about this because of one of the latest Tegan & Sara blogs that Sara wrote.

Go, Greyhound. Go.

Dreamt I was in this computer room or maybe just a bedroom with a computer in it. There were collages on the walls. A woman is also in the room and she digs me. She disappears and an Indian woman appears in her place. We're in love for some reason and she tells me she has to go. This is where the republicans come into play. They are trying to kidnap her (because we're both women, dating). I give her a hug and hate myself to see her have to leave. I lean in to kiss her cheek but instead I whisper to her that I'll meet her somewhere. Maybe the republicans were listening in? I don't know. She disappears and I get on computer. But then Sara Quin appears in the room and she wants to take a picture with me. As the camera lens gets nearer, I notice how filthy it is, so I try to clean it off as best as I could. Then everything disappears and I'm living in the house I grew up in. I'm with Devin and we're waiting for my dad to pick us up to take us to Minnesota. He doesn't show up at the right time, so I call my mom and ask her where he is. Then I start packing and put my stuffed animal Robot and Macbook in a backpack and wait some more. Then I'm outside and I notice this huge greyhound parked outside. Instead of letting us on, Dad gets off and the greyhound leaves. Then I woke up.

Heavy Mist.

Dreamt I was pregnant. I was at my childhood home, looking out the screen door and watching the heavy mist. It wasn't raining, it was just very misty in the air. I am waiting for Devin to get home because I had found out that day I was pregnant. When Devin finally shows up, I tell him the weather is perfect, but not that I'm pregnant. Then I get online and Katie tells me she has presents to send me, and Devin has a few presents for me as well. Devin and I leave the house and get into the car but while we're heading out of the driveway, he hits a tree. I get out and try to maneuver the car away from the tree.

Hey, It Was A Good Idea At The Time.

Dreamt the brakes in mine and Devin's car quit working. Also that I was in a baseball field and almost got hit by a ball but used my toddler-cousin as a shield. Let's just say my aunt wasn't happy.

Northshore and Tomatoes, Tomatoes.

Dreamt I was listening to Tegan and Sara's 'Sainthood' record, and was playing Northshore. The song sounded fuzzy and wrong, and realized a few seconds later that one of the speakers wasn't completely in. I fix it and begin playing it again. Then my aunt comes in and complains her shoulder hurts, I ask if she got it from work, and she says it's from putting sheets and blankets in her guest bedrooms at her house. Then I went to this family reunion of my dad's and my mom was strangely there (my mom and dad are divorced). My aunt Cindi assumed I was getting married and asked me if the last name "R______ - Oppelt" sounded nice. (I didn't get the 'R__' last name, she said it too fast for me to comprehend..) I said. "I prefer just Oppelt", which in my weird way of responding meant "I am not getting married." My mom looked at us awkwardly and she said "Like they say, tomatoes, tomatoes.. (lol, this is hard to write this out but read that with one of the tomatoes with a hard 'a', the other a soft 'a'" My aunt didn't get my mom's weird banter, and my aunt said something kind of similar to that, and my mom said "That's pretty much what I meant. We just say it differently from where I come from."

On My Own.

Dreamt I was in a car with my sister Sarah and aunt Erin. We were listening to Tegan and Sara (actually, we were listening to this on CASSETTE, fyi.). At some point I randomly mention how horrendous Katie Holmes' version of On My Own was (she sang this on Dawson's Creek). They badly want to hear it, because.. well, we have no life and they wanted to have a laugh. For some reason, I have the song but we keep playing the wrong one. Erin takes out another cassette from her glove box and I look at it and for some reason I see "Are You Ten Years Ago" and I think this is the song that Katie Holmes sings bad on. (Eep. In reality, I really do like this song.) Then the song "A Teenager In Love" by Dion & The Belmonts plays and it starts skipping. I wake up to the song actually skipping in my CD player.

Ew. Just, ew.

Dreamt I was on this mattress that was on the floor with some guy and Devin near us in bed sleeping. The guy and I started fooling around.

The Thread.

Dreamt my right ring finger got stuck around this thread. The thread cut into me real tight, and I freaked out. I yelled for Devin and he came over and was too scared to cut it, because he knew he'd have to cut me, too. Although I was already bleeding because I had tried cutting the thread off myself before I yelled for him, so this angered me that he wouldn't cut the damn thing off my finger.



This must be another 'commitment issue'-type dream.

This is also the second time I've had in a month where I dreamt of string catching around a ring finger and cutting the circulation harshly.

Torture Show

Dreamt I was getting ready to go to this restaurant that had a very strange entertainment experience for the customers. My mom and sister were coming with me, and my sister was explaining to me what the restaurant does. While I was putting makeup on in the bathroom, she explained that while we eat, the waiters would have this competitive game of torture. We would have to endure as much as possible to gain some sort of reward every time we achieved one of the tortures. The example my sister gave me was that they might hit our hands with hammers and if we'd consent to it, we'd continue on to the next round. I walked out of the bathroom and into the dining room and there were a bunch of people. Not just in the dining room but in the living room and kitchen as well. My dad came home and, although he was still supposedly dating his girlfriend of now, he was still really civil towards my mom. I guess his girlfriend worked at a soda factory in my dream, because he brought home a few cases. I started telling everyone in the house about where we were going, and explained the rules and used the hammer-example my sister used, and they thought it was a dumb idea. (Duh.) The restaurant was in La Crosse, WI, and I remember telling everyone that it'd be broadcast on TV, so they should watch for us. I went outside to get into the van and realized I forgot music, so I went back inside to grab a Tegan & Sara CD, but an asian dude I don't really know in real life stopped me in the living room and asked me what channel we'd be on. He was flipping through channels on my real-life childhood clunky console television set we had. I told him I wasn't sure about which channel we would be on, but that I'd call him when I got to the van and asked mom.

Monkey Business

Dreamt I had these super powers and my dad was really proud of me. He gave me lots of attention, and it made my mom and sister (Sarah) extremely jealous from the attention I got, so this made my mom and sister real awful towards me. In my dream, I still lived with my family and that our normal one-story house was a two-story. I remember climbing out of the bedroom window and walking to the edge of the roof by the porch. Then I climbed down this dinky metal post we normally have that supports the roof to the porch. Then I ran through the woods, down the hill, to our pond we had on our property. I walked around the pond until I got to the swampy areas on our property. Then I wondered if there were snakes out yet, so I kind of freaked myself out and retreated back up to the house, but crept through the woods checking for my mom and sister. I saw that they were also in the woods planning how to kill me, but barely a few yards from our yard, so I kind of booked it away from the house back to the marsh. Then I saw this tree and tried to shimmy myself up it but it kept wanting to bend down and show I was in it because I was too heavy for the tree. Then the tree fell on my dad's camper that he has near the pond, and I jump off and kept walking. I get to this library and poke around in it and look at a few of the books on the shelves. I remember seeing a shelf of Piers Anthony books, only they were romance novels and the one I picked up had an island on the cover and the title had the word "autumn" in it. After setting the book down, I decide to use a computer and find a way to move away from home. Before I get to a computer I see (the musician) Sara Quin looking at a couple books in this area that looked more like it was set up for children. I get distracted from my idea to move away and walk over to her. We both start flirting, but after a couple minutes I see my mom and sister walk in. I quickly hide under this table and Sara hides under it with me. We both are scared and hold hands. Then Sara turns into a monkey (waaah, I wanted human Sara back) and my mom notices this Sara-monkey. The setting changes and I'm walking down the driveway back to my house and my mom is trying to coax Sara-monkey to come home with us (because in my real life, my mom has wanted a monkey since she was a child). Sara-monkey is scared and hides behind a tree and doesn't really want my mom to be near her at all. I woke up at some point.

The Dream Too Good To Be True

Dreamt this morning that I had three kids. Devin and I were getting out of a car and into this building. We lived in Warrens at the time. I was carrying our youngest, this pudgy little blond-haired blue-eyed kid named Charlie and following Devin through the doors and into this office. While Devin talked to the person at the desk, I kept switching Charlie back and forth between arms. He was heavy as hell. It seems that I was changing my name or something. Devin motioned me over and then pointed to an extended room and told me I had to change my name in that room instead. I carried Charlie and walked with this guy that was a classmate of mine and followed him past this casino (where a bunch of men were playing poker or throwing money into slot machines) and I whispered in Charlie's ear that I'd always hear mothers talk about how grueling it is to carry a kid around all the time, how heavy they are, and that I now can understand their pain. Charlie giggles like he knows what I'm talking about. Then I heard someone yell, "Hey, Allie!" I looked back at the poker tables and slot machines but I can't really see anyone that looks familiar but the voice sounds like this guy that was an old childhood friend I once knew. At this point the classmate has disappeared but I go straight to this bar and wait for him to come back. He showed up again after having to go to the bathroom and sits down next to where I was standing. I sat down next to him and put Charlie in my lap. Then one of Devin's co-workers walked into the bar and everyone in the casino and bar all yell his name like in the TV show Cheers whenever Norm walks in.

This dream felt so realistic. It also made me sad when I woke up and realized I didn't really have this baby in my life.

Deja Vu

These are two old dreams that I remembered suddenly when I was in bed. I had to write them down in case I hadn't written them down before, so here are some very brief dreams:


The first one I remember was being at Cranfest, a festival in the town I grew up in, and I was with a bunch of other women. We were wearing old-time clothes and looking at all kinds of gowns. I remember I found this cute pair of shoes..



The second one I remember being with my family and we were in this desert/dirt mound. Rock cliffs keeping us from being able to go anywhere. I remember a queen or princess had an important part in the dream. We were all trying to save her or something.

It's A Truck, It's A Raft, It's A Sled..

Dreamt I was in this truck with this guy that looked slightly like Devin and also two women, one that looked a lot like Kate Hudson and the other that looked like the woman Mel from the movie Inception. We kept listening to this CB radio trying to know where these bad people were that we were hiding from. Then the truck switched to a raft in a river (that occasionally changed settings and the raft would be in this hallway, but still we couldn't get out of the raft (kind of like when you were little and you pretended the floor was lava..)). The guy we were with fell asleep and I started kissing the Kate Hudson look-a-like. Then we cuddled and she put her hand down my pants. Suddenly the raft disappears. I'm only with the guy now and we're trying to find Kate, but now she looks like Tegan Quin (or at least this is who I'm looking for now). I'm walking down this hallway and see her on the other side of the room. I start running towards her (and eventually lose the guy because he's slow as molasses) but stop because my shoes are uncomfortable. I see these comfy-looking shoes on this table and start changing shoes. When I get one shoe on, I notice that the pair I was wearing this whole time are so adorable and that I want to keep them even after I wake up from this dream (at this point the dream became lucid). So I take the new shoe off and put the old one back on. Then I notice Tegan is gone from across the room so I turn back to the hallway we were all in and start walking that way to find her. I start walking past this door and this guy that looks like the artist Bob Ross (only with slicked-back hair, not poofy hair) grabs me and drags me into this real quiet library. Everyone is silent, though heavily attentive, while I shuffle in after Bob Ross. Then he takes me to these desks in the back of the library room and there are very important people sitting down with papers in front of them. They look up at me like they expected me to come. They also look evil. I tell them that I've lost someone and I can't find them, start walking away with my hand on my forehead, trying to act calm. Then I start running. Bob Ross follows, but he's a nice guy. We both go outside and he shows me this sled and gets in, tells me he'll try to find her in it. My mind goes all fuzzy and instead of seeing my own point of view, I see the Kate-but-now-Tegan in front of a bunch of paparazzi. She takes a few photos for them and then she walks into this opera theater, my vision keeps following her until she walks into the area where the stage is. Then I see "myself" (I don't look at all like myself, though. I look like Emily Browning (Ghost Ship, The Uninvited) wearing this weird dress. It's this pink and yellow feathery gown. I sit down on this red velvet circular chair. Then this girl sits down next to me and she looks like Lacey Chabert. She holds my hand, puts her head on my shoulder.. Tries her best to comfort me. She asks me if I want to go dancing and suddenly the room turns into a psychedelic pink, green, and orange glittery room. It looks the set of Flip Wilson's show. I realize now that I'm dreaming and try to open my eyes to wake myself up from the corny dream. The first time I blink, I see wallpaper of some sort, then I woke up on the second blink.

Wet... Kitten.

Wrote this down in my journal:

"Thought Trapper was still alive. Looked in box, felt something wet and heavy. Something with a kitten. Also at end I was trying to watch a trailer on comp."