2/27/10 - I Talked To Walt.

Could have sworn I wrote this day down, but I can't seem to find the evidence for that, so I'm going to have to find an old entry for today. Found this on the message board I go onto, in a Dream thread:



Posted 27 February 2010 - 03:06 PM


I'm barely awake right now, but i want to remember:


Everything is black and white in this part. Bright. I'm in this huge apartment in a big city, with wooden floors. I grab a Tegan & Sara CD and blast Back In Your Head and start dancing all giddily for some reason. The weather outside the big window of the room I was in (which looks like a living room/dining room/kitchen, if i remember right) is heavily-clouded and down-pouring.. I'm wishing I had a camera with how beautiful it looked outside, and for some reason I wanted to take the picture doing a Grand Jeté in front of the window (I had to google this, but it's the jump, doing a front split, in midair.). I did the Grand Jeté anyways, a few times. I guess it was dark-lit at the time and I thought it'd make a beautiful picture against the bright, paris-esque rainy weather outside. I felt a little lonely, though, so although I was giddy, I did want company.

Dreaming in color now: Now, I'm in my house, and there are boxes about the place on the floor. I call my mom and tell her that since she's coming over, if maybe she could help pack a few things in her car to be dropped at this house my boyfriend and I are moving into. Then I'm in this different house, in the town my parents live in. For some reason, I think that I've lived a long time in one of the other houses my boyfriend and I looked at that we were thinking of buying at the time (in real life), and that we only lived in our current (real) home for a short while... Anyways, I remember my boyfriend's family are looking at the new house, and I'm standing at the window waiting for my parents to come visit and see the new place. I remember the outside of the house we bought was bright, but darker, red. If that makes sense. Think of a cabin-red exterior.. Anyways, my mom gets there with my aunt, and I begin to worry about my dad. It's weird, too. For two reasons. One: I know kind of where we were located in town, in real life, because I remember thinking about how we were close to the Veteran's Administration Hospital. And two: It felt eerie, like I was copying real life with this next part. I was watching for my dad's car to pull up and I kept hearing sirens for an ambulance go off, and I was worried he might have had an accident (because I did this in real life a lot when I was little, stare out the window waiting for my dad to come home, worried he was in a car accident). Finally he pulled up in this blue geo metro, which is the car he had driven when I was little. He pulled into the garage. Then I turned back to the house and it changed a bit in structure. I was in this room, and I saw my boyfriend and his father head down a hall and out the front door straight ahead. I could see my boyfriend's mom and her family at a table, down the hall and a little out of sight behind the wall. She's telling everyone that my boyfriend and his dad always does this, leaving to do something in the garage before dinner, so we may as well eat without them. The room I was in had two tables. One had my grandpa, and he set his plate down and then sat down slowly to eat. I looked over at the other table and my great-uncle Walt, whom died in real life when I was seventeen, was sitting next to a woman, talking. I kind of choked up a bit, because I knew he died. He said something to the woman, and even though I knew he was talking to her, I asked him what he said and sat down next to him. If you have ever seen the movie Drop Dead Fred, you'll know the exact reaction I had when I asked him to repeat what he said. The last scene, when Phoebe Cates asks the little girl what name she spoke, and then told the girl she believed her, that is exactly the same reaction I gave. This woman he was talking to looked over at me, smiling all knowingly and not caring that I interrupted her conversation with him. He said something completely different to me than what he said before, and this time it was something directed towards me.. I don't remember what it was, but it was about the food I think. Maybe he asked me if I liked the food or something. Anyways, I started to tear up a bit, and I told him I really missed him and that I hadn't seen him in forever. I gave him a great big hug, and he hugged me back. Then he started to half-disappear, and I started to half-wake (not really waking in real life). I remember the hug lasted longer then when he disappeared, I was left waking up in this car, dry-heaving and tearing up again, hugging at my chest like I didn't even want to let go of the air. I looked around and realized I was parked in this parking lot, in the passenger seat, in this bigger city half an hour from of my own town. I also remember there were these little Gary Oldman pictures in the dashboard. Don't ask me why those were there.




Black And White

• To dream in black and white, suggests that you need to be more objective in formulating your decisions. You may be a little too unyielding in your thought process and thus need to find some sort of balance between two opposing views. Consider the views and opinions of others. Alternatively, black and white dreams is a sign of depression or sadness. You may feel that there is not enough excitement in your life.

• Ballet

• To see or wear ballet slippers in your dream, represents your understanding of the principles of balance and grace. You carry yourself with much poise and get along well with others.

Moving

• To dream that you are moving away, signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship; you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence.

Nervous

• To dream that you are nervous about something, indicates that you are experiencing self-doubt and feelings of insecurity.

• Father

• To see your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant. Consider also your waking relationship with your father and how aspects of his character may be incorporated within yourself.

Bereavement

• To dream that you are in bereavement, suggests that you are repressing your grief. Perhaps something is bothering you more than you realize. You need to express your sadness and not keep it inside. For those that are experiencing bereavement in real life, such dreams are a way of coping with what has happened.

Dead

• To see the dead in your dream, forewarns that you are being influenced by negative people and are hanging around the wrong crowd. This dream may also be a way for you to resolve your feelings with those who have passed on. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes material loss. If you dream of a person who has died a long time ago, then it suggests that a current situation or relationship in your life resembles the quality of that deceased person. The dream may depict how you need to let this situation or relationship die and end it.

• Hugging

• To dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate.

• Disappear

• To dream that people or objects are disappearing right before your eyes, signify your anxieties and insecurities over the notion that loved ones might disappear out of your life. You feel that you cannot depend on anyone and that you will end up alone. You need to work on your self-image and self-esteem.

8/5/10 - Dogs Are A Delicacy.

There is a lake and I'm standing on this rock near the shore.. The mustang is half-in the water, and near the rock, so I carefully get onto the top of the car and have Devin help me up and out of the lake.. It seems I can't swim or maybe there was something in the water.. Also, it's really dark out.


Then I'm in Warrens, right in town. It's the end of a parade and I'm sitting on the corner of Railroad St. and Cty Hwy O (I google-mapped this just now for the correct location, and also the picture in this entry is actually of the spot where I was sitting..). This girl of about sixteen with long blond hair walks to the center of the road with this pink barbie sled/bike (it had wheels, but was flat like a sled). She gets in the sled and spins around and around, kind of making a fool of herself like most teens do for attention. :) She's too big for this contraption, so she skids out twice, and eventually people yell for her to get off the road. A sister of hers walks to her with a towel and puts the towel around her as she changes for some reason. The sister gives me the evil eye, as if I'm bad news. When this sixteen year-old is done changing, she walks over to where I am and sits down to my right. She starts flirting with me, with Devin to my left. I feel awful, but I like the attention, so I flirt back even though she's a bit young. There is this white table in front of us and I have gum in front of me. She reaches for a piece without asking and it bothers me a lot. Then she starts to grab this iPhone that is Devin's, but we catch her in time, and I give it to Devin. We start taking pictures and we have this screen so we can see our pictures while we take them.. I notice our teeth are sharp, like a vampire's. Then we disolve and I become this man in a grunge band taking pictures by this tree with his band. They are wearing fangs. Then I become myself again and I start walking to my aunt's house, down this trail, but I walk on my tippy-toes, like a ballerina. I walk like this all the way to my aunt's home. I walk up their ramp and notice these two cats that are starving. Their stomach's are sunk in and their fur is matted. They need food soon or they'll die. I don't seem worried, so I walk off and on my way I look on the ground for something for the cats to eat. I figure if I find something for them, I'll walk back.

I'm in this hospital room now and in the bed is my great-uncle Walt. My whole family is surrounding him and at one point we are all making small talk and the issue is about meat.. My cousin Megan pipes up that she heard dogs are a delicacy and are supposedly the tastiest meat.



Lake

• To see a lake in your dream, signifies your emotional state of mind. You feel restricted and that you can't express your emotions freely. Alternatively, the lake may provide you with solace, security, and peace of mind. If the lake is clear and calm, then it symbolizes your inner peace. If the lake is disturbed, then you may be going through some emotional turmoil.

Vampire

• To see a vampire in your dream, symbolizes seduction and sensuality, as well as fear and death. The vampire represents contrasting images of civilized nobility and aggression/ferocity. It may depict someone in your waking life whose charm may ultimately prove harmful. Deep down inside, you know that this person is bad for you, yet you are still drawn to him or her. Vampires also sometimes relate to decisions about sex and losing your virginity. Alternatively, to see a vampire suggests that you are feeling physically or emotionally drained. The vampire may also be symbolic of someone who is addicted to drugs or someone in an obsessive relationship.
  
  To dream that you are a vampire, signifies that you are sucking in the life energy of others for your own selfish benefit.

Ballerina

• To dream that you are a ballerina, suggests that you are moving through the obstacles of your life effortlessly. You feel unrestricted. It is also a symbol of innocence, frailty, and vulnerability. Alternatively, you may feel unable to attain and measure up to society's ideals of beauty.

Starvation

• To dream about starvation, indicates that you are lacking in some mental or emotional area of your life. You may be ignoring or avoiding an important family/emotional issue. Starvation dreams are not uncommon in individuals who are dieting or who have an eating disorder.

Cat

To see a cat in your dream, symbolizes an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. It also represents misfortune and bad luck.

Food

• To see food in your dream, represents physical and emotional nourishment and energies.

Dog

To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity.

7/18/10 - Interviewing Hanson.

- Woke up early, wrote this:

"Walking around. Flooded fields except on road. [Squiggle mark I can't make out - "I'm"?] this kid, walking, looking for something. There were tents (or booths) up near flooded fields. Like Cranfest (my hometown's festival every year on the last weekend of September). Britney Spears music playing in one booth, I go to it and look at one of her CDs. Went to another booth and looked through a bag of clothing. Then to another tent. I was a ghost of some sort, watching a man and woman kissing and walking into the tent as well. They couldn't see me. The woman had long blond hair and was wearing a bright pink belly dancing outfit. She excused herself and went into another room inside of this huge tent. Then I transported to the room she was in. She took her bra off and exposed her breasts, then she touched herself and sucked her hands and touched herself lower down. Then she called for the man. Then I transport back to the room the man is in and he walked around trying to find the woman. He sees another woman, this one with chin-length curly black hair and wearing a red belly dancing outfit, exit a room. She tells the man that the woman is inside waiting for him. Then I started hearing dogs barking, but when I woke up (I actually woke up), I couldn't hear any of the dogs actually barking. I even went downstairs to check on them, and they were all sleeping, so the barking was just in my dream."

Fell asleep again, then woke up to write this one:


- "Dreamt that Cranfest was happening still, and I was walking around looking at all the booths. I was wearing these purple high-heels and could go en pointe à la ballerina. I'd keep doing this position once in awhile. Anyways, at some point I saw my aunt Erin walking around and someone was with me and I said something about the fact that Erin almost always buys some sort of dessert at Cranfest on the last day (which it apparently was), so I walked up to her hoping to get food, but she told me she was helping to take the decorations and orange plastic fencing down, etc, and asked if I wanted to help, so I did. But my Aunt and Uncle didn't want me to help, someone nearby asked if my aunt and uncle were "a part of my congregation", and I answered them that "it's because I'm not a Christian." Or something like that. At some point, though, the town turned into a marketplace, similar to Burnstead's, and I was looking at these tabloids. The band Hanson was on the cover, and the word "penniless" was written in big, white writing across their picture. All of a sudden I became a TV show host, and knew that the band was in the store waiting for me to interview them about it. I found them and we went to this bed that was unmade, and the pillows were in a circle around the bed. We all sat on a pillow and I talked to them a bit about them being gipped out of their money. At one point I joked around with them about the length of their hair, and that it was no wonder I liked them so long ago, since I like women so much. They laughed, but not really politely to that joke. They disappeared after awhile and the bed turned into a circular wooden deck, the pillows became an extra, higher step of the deck. Alan Rickman was on the deck and it became apparent that it was his deck. He showed me that his deck was ruined once, and screwed off the higher part of the deck, and water poured out of it. He said the water ruined the deck, and he had to fix it. (It was fixed now, apparently.) "






Masturbation

• To see others masturbating in your dreams, denotes your anxieties and concerns about your inhibitions. It may also be a reflection that something in your waking life is not as satisfying as it could be. Keep in mind that this dream may not necessarily represent sexual inhibitions or satisfaction, but may be analogous to some situation or relationship.

Ballet

• To see or wear ballet slippers in your dream, represents your understanding of the principles of balance and grace. You carry yourself with much poise and get along well with others.

Tabloids

• To read the tabloids in your dream, suggests some sensational situation or gossip.

Interview

• To dream that you are at an interview, denotes your anxiety over being judged by others. You may be experiencing some dissatisfaction with some aspect of yourself.