Sleep

Ugh. Bad dream. Not a good one for the health anxiety. 

Dreamt I was at a table and just getting tired. I could barely keep me eyes open. (In real life, I just heard about my husband's uncle who kept getting tired at a card game last night and was just exhausted.. he has parkinsons and it's progressing a lot these past few weeks..) Anyways in the dream I was getting tired and having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Once they shut, I could NOT open them and I immediately felt myself shift to a REALLY intense deep sleep. I couldn't wake myself up. I kept trying to open my eyes, wouldn't work. Tried to shake myself awake, wouldn't work. So terrified. I just could not wake up in my dream or in real life for a few minutes. Finally I could feel my body moving in real life and was able to rouse myself enough to wake up. Scared to go back to bed now... Thankfully just a nap on the couch and I can stay awake if need be. 

Aliens

Dreamt a scary dream. I was walking down a road at night, starry sky.. with family of some sort. I saw a UFO kind of in the distance. It was huge and behind some clouds, nearing land in the distance. I told my family we needed to leave now. I couldn't explain why but was hoping they'd see why. They hadn't. So they just kept walking and in fact separated by walking off faster...

Lost some time/dream here and just remember being hooked up to something inside this UFO. I was making gagging noises and snoring as loud as possibly to wake myself up (embarrassingly I may have been making these sounds in real life, I dunno.) Anyways finally I woke up into a dream-within-a-dream and was still making those noises because I was paralyzed and couldn't move my body. A person whom I though was husband - looked like him anyways - woke slowly and walked over, peering at me weirdly -anr suddenly I made a really loud gagging/snoring sound and it made him laugh a little. I was pissed and thought he was still an alien and that I couldn't move. 

Somewhere in the middle maybe right after I saw UFO or before we separated I remember a really fancy vintage red contertible was parked and I thought I could try to start it and drive to get me and family out of area.. didn't work. 

Help me.

Dreamt Sarah and Dana and I were in Dad's living room, our old house, at night, sleeping on couches or something. Both of them asked me if I loved my dog and I said yes and snuggled down next to him. Sarah fell asleep. As soon as she did, Ziggy stood up fast and started howling/barking/growling like someone was in room with us. I asked if Dana was still awake and she said yes. We both gripped hands and suddenly heard a sound from behind us. I had blankets trapped over me and couldn't move well. Sleep paralysis in dream. Then I heard a strange, high pitch, doll's voice loudly screaming "help me". Dana motioned for me to turn on light and each time the doll screamed, I tried to hoist myself awake, over towards the light switch. I tried to swing myself in my body very slowly until I was able to turn light on and was still trapped. The doll voice got louder until I was able to shake myself completely awake. Terrified.

Lots Of Tongue

Okay, I might have been going through major sleep paralysis in the first bit of my dream. I know it was lightning and down-pouring, I remember looking out the window. (In my waking life, it was actually storming that night, so maybe it was projecting into my dreams..) I was in the process of awakening, but couldn't move. I remember trying to yell to Devin, who was beside me in bed, "Wake me up! Wake me up!" I felt like I couldn't do it myself, and I could only whisper through my lips. I could hear myself, in my dream, yelling, and myself, outside of my dream, whispering. It was eerie. Finally Devin rolls over, tells me I'm fine, and goes back to bed. Eventually I finally awake completely, but right beforehand I felt someone touch my left hand. I was freaking out thinking a ghost tapped my hand. I couldn't sleep for awhile after that, so I wrote down what happened.

Finally I went back to sleep, and I dreamt that I was visiting my dad and he told me he read my dream blog, about some dream where I was kissing a Quin Twin with "lots of tongue". I was blushing in my dream, embarrassed that he read my blog, but in my waking life I have seriously never dreamt about kissing either twin with 'lots of tongue', or any tongue for that matter - god dammit. :( That was a weird dream, too. The next part I wrote down I don't remember the details, just that my dad's workplace was making a documentary. Then I'm walking to my childhood home. I get to the back porch, and enter the utility room. There are dog beds in the closet area of the utility room, and my dog Bear and Ziggy are there, along with two dogs, Wyatt and Tuffy, whom have passed away in my waking life. I remember my dog Bear kept wanting to bite Tuffy. Tuffy was a fat dachshund, so he was a small little guy compared to Bear's St. Bernard/Lab mix. I was really scared Bear would tear Tuffy to shreds, so I kept forcing myself between them to protect Tuffy. At some point, Bear quit bothering him, so I walked to the living room and looked out the door. It was raining really hard and then these fish the size of big northerns started falling to the ground along with the rain. I got scared and backed away from the door. Then I went back to the utility room and instead of the dogs there, my boyfriend's sister Cherish and her boyfriend Monte were there sitting on a couch (in the utility room, I don't know why). I decided to call Devin, my boyfriend, to see where he was and I heard a little kid's voice in the background. I joked about hearing a kid and tease him about cheating on me and having a family started with some other woman. He got quiet and really defensive then. I bawled, realizing it was true. Cherish gets mad at Devin for what he did, but I leave the house and hang up on him. I decided to walk into the woods, towards the road. I call my aunt Erin and tell her what happened. Then I hang up again and walk some more in the woods. I meet up with Sara Quin and strangely we seem to be in a relationship or something. It doesn't last for long, though. First, Devin's cousin Trevor starts chasing us in the woods. Then, I project out of my body and some woman is taking the place as Sara's girlfriend/the one getting chased. I'm just a third wheel trying to help them get to safety. Eventually we get to the road. It's autumn, cold, rainy. Leaves are falling from the painted-orange trees. A car pulls up and I look over at the other two and think "We're safe." They have the same look to them. Then a guy gets out and he looks like Taylor Handley (again, I had to look this guy up. I've only seen him in one thing, and it was Dawson's Creek a few years ago. It's strange how the brain stores hidden, insignificant information and visuals.) When I saw him exit the car and tell us to get in, I thought, "Great. Just like in the movies, he's supposed to be my knight in shining armor." I don't know why I thought that, but he smiled arrogantly, so it just got worse from there. The guy chasing us was closing in, and although I was thinking over whether I wanted to deal with this guy or the one chasing me, I eventually got in the car with Sara and her new girlfriend.

At some point in this dream, I actually remembered dreaming about the denim clothes that I wrote in this blog. I think writing these dreams down for so long is starting to make the memory of my waking life better.

He Turned Everyone I Knew Into Statues.

Dreamt I was in this bar and a bunch of people I knew were in there. Devin and his co-workers and some friends. I walked around at one point and saw this girl I used to like so I talked to her, but noticed she didn't actually look like herself. So I thought in my head, "Look what is happening to us. You're out of my life, and now I'm forgetting what you even look like." So I had to leave her. I went to this back room that looked like my old bedroom. I felt like I was in a hotel room, though, because on the floor was a telephone and I called Tegan & Sara's hotel room and asked (because I knew they wouldn't want to come to my hotel room) if they knew this girl's hotel room number so that I could ask her to come back. I hung up right away, though, before they answered. Then I heard a phone alarm go off, when I found it, I turned it off. (It was my boyfriend's. It said "Devin signature" on the screen or something, which meant something to do with his credit card and the signature, I was thinking.) Then I heard my own phone go off, and I found it underneath my old TV in the living room at my old house. I answered, and it was this old man with a distinct english accent. He sounded suspicious. He tried to keep the conversation going even though I wanted to hang up. I had a feeling he was on his way to come to the room to get me. I walked out of my old house and walked around to the driveway. Then I saw all the people from the bar as statues. All grey marble-looking. It freaked me out and made me think this old man was a gargoyle or a vampire and he was killing everyone close to me so he could get to me. I turned around and then saw him wearing this black cape and he was coming at me, I backed up and repeated to myself "wake up.. wake up.. wake up.." while flinching in my dream body and feeling myself writhe in my real body. Then it started getting hard for me to breathe. I seriously thought in my dream that I was dying in my real body and that if I didn't wake up soon, I never would. Finally, as soon as my face writhed out of the covers I was under, I felt like I was surfacing from underwater or something. I could breathe and I woke up taking that breath in. Then my head started hurting really bad.

9/15/10 - Lump.

I was taking a bath and I felt this lump. I lifted myself out of the bath too look at it, but all of a sudden it burst, and something shot out of it that looked like ground meat. It scared me, I thought I was dying. I jolted from the shock, and knocked my cellphone into the water. It started lighting up in the water on my right side... Then the light got bigger.. Until I woke up and realized the light was coming from the window in my bedroom. I couldn't move for a few seconds, it was as if I was paralyzed for a few seconds from the shock of the lump exploding.

8/11/10 - Sleep Paralysis To The Max.

Okay, I might have been going through major sleep paralysis in the first bit of my dream. I know it was lightning and down-pouring, I remember looking out the window. (In my waking life, it was actually storming that night, so maybe it was projecting into my dreams..) I was in the process of awakening, but couldn't move. I remember trying to yell to Devin, who was beside me in bed, "Wake me up! Wake me up!" I felt like I couldn't do it myself, and I could only whisper through my lips. I could hear myself, in my dream, yelling, and myself, outside of my dream, whispering. It was eerie. Finally Devin rolls over, tells me I'm fine, and goes back to bed. Eventually I finally awake completely, but right beforehand I felt someone touch my left hand. I was freaking out thinking a ghost tapped my hand. I couldn't sleep for awhile after that, so I wrote down what happened.

Finally I went back to sleep, and I dreamt that I was visiting my dad and he told me he read my dream blog about some dream where I was kissing a Quin Twin--Tegan, to be exact--with "lots of tongue". I was blushing in my dream, embarrassed that he read my blog--and used the phrase 'lots of tongue'--but in my waking life I have seriously never dreamt about kissing either twin with 'lots of tongue', or any tongue for that matter - god dammit. :( That was a weird dream, too. The next part I wrote down I don't remember the details, just that my dad's workplace was making a documentary. Then I'm walking to my childhood home. I get to the back porch, and enter the utility room. There are dog beds in the closet area of the utility room, and my dog Bear and Ziggy are there, along with two dogs, Wyatt and Tuffy, whom have passed away in my waking life. I remember my dog Bear kept wanting to bite Tuffy. Tuffy was a fat dachshund, so he was a small little guy compared to Bear's St. Bernard/Lab mix. I was really scared Bear would tear Tuffy to shreds, so I kept forcing myself between them to protect Tuffy. At some point, Bear quit bothering him, so I walked to the living room and looked out the door. It was raining really hard and then these fish the size of big northerns started falling to the ground along with the rain. I got scared and backed away from the door. Then I went back to the utility room and instead of the dogs there, my boyfriend's sister Cherish and her boyfriend Monte were there sitting on a couch (in the utility room, I don't know why). I decide to call Devin, my boyfriend, to see where he was and I heard a little kid's voice in the background. I joke about hearing a kid and tease him about cheating on me and having a family started with some other woman. He gets quiet and really defensive then. I bawled, realizing it was true. Cherish gets mad at Devin for what he did, but I leave the house and hang up on him. I decided to walk into the woods, towards the road. I call my aunt Erin and tell her what happened. Then I hang up again and walk some more in the woods. I meet up with Sara Quin and strangely we seem to be in a relationship or something. It doesn't last for long, though. First, Devin's cousin Trevor starts chasing us in the woods. Then, I project out of my body and some woman is taking the place as Sara's girlfriend/the one getting chased. I'm just a third wheel trying to help them get to safety. Eventually we get to the road. It's autumn, cold, rainy. Leaves are falling from the painted-orange trees. A car pulls up and I look over at the other two and think "We're safe." They have the same look to them. Then a guy gets out and he looks like Taylor Handley (again, I had to look this guy up. I've only seen him in one thing, and it was Dawson's Creek a few years ago. It's strange how the brain stores hidden, insignificant information and visuals.) When I saw him exit the car and tell us to get in, I thought, "Great. Just like in the movies, he's supposed to be my knight in shining armor. There's no way I'm going to be his love interest in this dream" I don't know why I thought that, but he smiled arrogantly, so it just got worse from there. The guy chasing us was closing in, and although I was thinking over whether I wanted to deal with this guy or the one chasing me, I eventually got in the car with Sara and her new girlfriend.

At some point in this dream, I actually remembered dreaming about the denim clothes that I wrote in this blog. I think writing these dreams down for so long is starting to make the memory of my waking life better.




Yelling

• To dream that you or someone is yelling, represents repressed anger that needs to be expressed. If you are yelling and no one hears, then it suggests that you are being overlooked in some waking situation. You feel that your voice does not matter or that your opinion does not count.

Dog

• To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. The dream dog may also represent someone in your life who exhibits these qualities. Alternatively, to see a dog in your dream, indicates a skill that you may have ignored or forgotten. If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it indicates some inner conflict within yourself. It may also indicate betrayal and untrustworthiness.

Rain

• To see and hear rain falling, symbolizes forgiveness and grace. Falling rain is also a metaphor for tears, crying and sadness. Alternatively, rain symbolizes fertility and renewal. If you get wet from the rain, then it indicates cleaning from your troubles and problems.

• Fish

• To see fish swimming in your dream, signifies insights from your unconscious mind. Thus to catch a fish, represents insights which have been brought to the surface. Alternatively, a fish swimming in your dream may symbolize conception. Some women dream of swimming fish when they get pregnant. To see a dead fish, signifies disappointment and loss of power/wealth.

Infidelity

• To dream of infidelity (either by you or someone else), represents issues of abandonment and neglect in a relationship. Or you are feeling emotionally confined and need an outlet for your feelings. Alternatively, a dream of infidelity indicates that you are feeling unsatisfied with your current relationship. You are harboring guilt over a sexual relationship or you are looking for a more erotic sex life.

Astral Projection

• To dream of astral projection, suggests that you are looking at things from a whole new perspective. You may be feeling liberated and free. Alternatively, it indicates that you are physically or emotionally disconnected from those around you.

Chase

• To dream that you are being chased, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is a metaphor for some form of insecurity. In particular, to dream that you are chased by an animal, represents your own unexpressed and unacknowledged anger which is being projected onto that animal. Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear.

11/30/09 - Sleep Walking?

Forgot my dream, here's an old one I had that I posted in a message board:

Posted 30 November 2009 - 10:32 AM

Double-posting only because it won't let me edit..



But I had a really weird dream that got even weirder when I woke up. I dreamt that my dog was scratching at the bedroom door, scratching, scratching.. It got annoying, because I was sleeping (in my dream), so I went over to the door to open it and my dog started pouncing up getting excited. My hair was in a ponytail, and I felt someone pulling on it. It was my dog, he kept pouncing up and grabbing at my hair and tugging at it. Once the door opened, he left and I went back into my bed. When I was all settled in bed, I started to feel pressure on my head and I tried to pick my hands up to feel my head to see if something was sitting on me or something, but my hands were really really heavy and I couldn't lift them. At this point I was gradually waking up outside of my dream, and my head still had the pressure feeling. I looked at my hands and they were stiff kind of.. It was weird.. I think I'm just getting a slight headache, but that dream was really weird, and kind of scary..

Another weird thing is that about a half-hour after I woke up, my dog came into the bedroom and started yipping at me because he wanted something, but I didn't know what he wanted.. It eerily reminded me of my dream.

Dog

• To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. The dream dog may also represent someone in your life who exhibits these qualities. Alternatively, to see a dog in your dream, indicates a skill that you may have ignored or forgotten. To hear barking in your dream, suggests that you are annoying those around you with grumpiness and fussiness. The dream may also be analogous to your tendency of barking orders at people, instead of asking or talking kindly. Alternatively, barking refers to unhappy and disgruntled companions. To dream that a dog bites you on the leg, suggests that you have lost your ability to balance aspects of your life. You may be hesitant in approaching a new situation or have no desire to move forward with your goals. Alternatively, it symbolizes disloyalty.

• Pulling

• To dream that you are pulling something, refers to your burdens and struggles. You have difficulties accomplishing your tasks and goals. You need to unload and/or let go some of your responsibilities. Perhaps it is a relationship that you need to let go of. Consider also what or who you are pulling. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on your "pull" or influence for some favor or decision.

• Hair

• To see hair in your dream, signifies sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health. It is indicative of your attitudes.

Bed

• To see your bed in your dream, represents your intimate self and discovery of your sexuality. If you are sleeping in your own bed, then it denotes security and restoration of your mind. You may be looking for domestic bliss, for peace or for some form of escape.

Pressure

• To dream of pressure, symbolizes stress and tension in your life. You are feeling overwhelmed, overworked, or overloaded. The dream may be telling you to take it easy. Relax.

Heavy

• To dream that something is too heavy, symbolizes your burdens, work load and responsibilities. You are carrying too much on your shoulders and need to prioritize. Take a break and lighten up.

• Arm

• To see your arms as the emphasis in your dream, indicate your nurturance side and your ability to reach out and care for people. Alternatively, it may represent the struggles and challenges in your life. Consider the pun "arm yourself" which implies that you need to protect yourself, be more aggressive and take a firmer stance on things or the pun "up in arms", representing anger and your readiness to argue.

7/28/10 - Tornado!

I'm on my childhood property, at the pond. ((This is weird, because today I went down to the pond to drive my dad there so he could mow it and see it again)). In the dream, I'm with a bunch of people. A lot of my dad's family is there, and other people, some I don't know.. I'm fighting with most of them, not getting along.. Well, they're fighting with me, they don't approve of me or something. For some reason there is a TV attached to a tree and we look at it and see that a big storm is coming our way. What's interesting is that I remember the storm was coming to at a southeasterly angle, and usually they go northeast. Right over our area was a bright red cloud on the TV, so we all started running for the house. I was also looking at a map of the area with my sister, and in real life I actually was looking at a map of Wisconsin the night before, so I must have dreamt that part because of her. There were probably fifty people at the pond, so we were all trying to run through the woods to get to shelter. We knew a tornado was coming. When we get to the porch, there is a table with food and I don't know why, but I remember making a plate for my dad so that he'd have something to eat while waiting in the basement. Dad and some woman (that looked like Amy Sedaris when she played in Strangers With Candy) were the only ones there, and this Amy look-a-like was sitting on a bench eating as well.. I sit next to "Amy" and tell her she can come down to my basement. I also tell Dad that he, Mom, Sarah, Joran and his family can all go down to the basement as well. I meant at my house, which is a half-hour away from where we were, but at the time I didn't seem to realize the distance it would take to get there. Dad tells me he doesn't want to run anymore, that the tornado will be here soon. I tell him we don't have to run, and I walk to this door that is against one of the porch walls and I open the door. I show him that it is a secret passageway to my basement. (It seems like a transporting system, because it opens up right at the bottom of the stairs, right where you'd step to get to the floor from the stairs). He heads down and I wait for the rest of my family to show up so that I can tell them where the shelter is.

xx I woke up, wrote that, then fell back asleep... xx


I dreamt that the radio was on beside my bed (it really was, outside of my dream..) The song Don't Let Me Go by The Fray was on the radio, and in my dream I abhorred the song, so I tried to change the station, but it was on every station.


xx I woke up again, and tried to fall asleep, but as I was doing so, I was still quite awake but in a state of dreaming. I pictured very clearly myself sitting down against a white wall and yelling that everything was way too real, that I wasn't dreaming. That completely woke me up, so I wrote that down. Finally I fell asleep. xx


I dreamt again about the tornado coming. I was at my Aunt's, and we were getting a car my mom used to drive and we drove it to where I used to live growing up. (My aunt and parents lived next door to each other). People got into the car (Mom, Dad and maybe Sarah and Joran), and I saw about fifteen kittens crawling around by my feet and I could NOT leave them for the tornado to kill, so I tried to collect them and get them in the car. There were also three adult cats and one dog I had to save, but all the animals kept piling out every time I would put one in. All the while, my family waited surprisingly patient in the car for me to get them all in. I ended up waking up before I got them all in.





Fighting

• To dream that you are in a fight, indicates inner turmoil. Some aspect of yourself is in conflict with another aspect of yourself. Perhaps an unresolved or unacknowledged part is fighting for its right to be heard. It may also parallel a fight or struggle that you are going through in your waking life.

Storm

• To dream that you take cover in a storm, foretells that whatever disturbance or problems is occurring in your life will quickly blow over. Consider also the phrase "weather the storm", which refers to your ability and strength to withstand whatever comes.

Potato Chips

• To see or eat potato chips in your dream, symbolizes your overindulgent behavior. Perhaps you need to exercise more self control.

Basement

• The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction. It represents primal urges, animalistic desires and basic needs.

7/26/2010 - Competition.

I'm in this big tent. I'm dating Tegan Quin. She's dating someone else at first, though.. She goes outside to call this person.. I'm in this tent still, sifting through pictures. Then Tegan comes back in from making her phone call and kisses me as if she wasn't dating someone else and it was with me this whole time.

xx


Devin and I work together. We are in a lunchroom, competing for some girl's attention. Either a famous crush, or a townie crush.. I'm drinking coffee and it's 2/3s gone. Cold. I push it away and notice Devin is going to win the girl's heart.

xx


Dreamt I awoke. I grabbed for the glass of ice water I keep by my side of the bed, but notice that soda is there. I go for the soda instead. After actually awaking, I think that the dream is so real that I had to check my nightstand for a glass of soda just to be sure..

7/6/10 - Argument Over The Cork Board.

This morning I had a dream that my sister, my mother, and my aunt all moved into a tiny trailer. I remember when I first looked inside the trailer, there were beds in the kitchen (because it really was a tiny trailer), but when I looked a second time, the only beds that were visible once stepping in the door right away was this bench with a soft covering over it, which was L-shaped around a corner. Anyways, the funny part of the dream was that I remember looking in the cupboards and when I opened up one of the doors I noticed this cork board material inside the door, so I mentioned to my sister that it would make a good place to put notes and things.. To which she replied that she noticed it, too. Then we started complaining about who thought of the idea first.

Awhile before that part, though, I remember I was looking at this piece of paper and it said something about how if your breathing is "patternless" (that word I remember was on the paper), then you might have heart failure. I remember I was trying to breathe in and out in a pattern after that and I think I might have been half asleep and saw myself sleeping and holding my stomach and trying to breathe steadily in real life, too.

Moving

• To dream that you are moving away, signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship; you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence.

Debate

• To dream that you are in a debate, symbolizes some inner turmoil or conflict that you are experiencing. It also means that you will find closure to those unresolved issues.

Heartbeat

• To hear a heartbeat in your dream, suggests that you are not confronting or recognizing your feelings. You need to approaching thing head-on. Alternatively, a heartbeat may symbolize life or fear. Perhaps, you are feeling threatened in some way.