The Cabin

Okay.. dreamt I was in a whole new life. I had a mom that looked like Alice from Riverdale. I fell for this guy that looked like the long-haired dude from Wednesday. He went 'missing' one day and I had an inkling I knew where he was. I ran off, away from home, into the woods and went to this cabin. Found him and several other people. I walked into the cabin, found him at a table with others. They were playing this game and I joined in. It was a game where there are situational questions and you answer how you'd react (had photos next to answer, too). The question was something like if he and I were alone or something, and I answered one where we'd make out. We went off and it gets really confusing here.. I remember seeing blood on someone's pants. Might have been my sister's. I wondered how she got blood and she pointed at me. I look down and I've got blood on me too. I realize that the guy I liked might be violent during sex, which was a shame. I was in total denial. My 'mom" and a cop found the cabin and got me out of there. The cop sat a baby on my lap and then another one. I realized at least one of these were mine that I had with this guy. (I assumed the other was my "mom's"). 

Everyone's Listening

I am at my sister's house and apparently she has a second story deck, because I am sitting on a chair there with this dude. I like him. We're talking about something - don't remember what. My sister wants to take our picture together.

Somehow we end up in a town that is kind of cartoon-ish. We're walking around, and I point up at the sky. It looks like there are cop cars off in the distance.... in the sky. The guy says something that is meant to explain what's happening, but I'm still really confused. We start to head for shelter, towards a school.

 I'm in the school looking for a radio station area. I see the dude I like, and he stops me and hands me these cups and tells me he has to go back home and grab something he forgot. I take the cups and head into the radio area. Lost, looking for something. (Something bad is going on, I just don't know what, and I am panicking.) A woman comes up to me with a microphone, about to hand it to me, and says "We're just going to start. Everyone's listening." (I'm assuming this guy I liked was supposed to be the speaker or something, I don't know.) I back away from the lady with my hands up, nervous, and tell her I don't know what's happening. I walk off into a darker area of the room, waking up.

Searching For Bear And Avalanche.

Dreamt my dog Bear was still alive and that we were watching my dad's friend's dog Avalanche. We were in a house in town, although it looked like dad's house (house I grew up in). Must have been living with mom, Sarah and Erin. I saw that a door was open and my dog Bear ran out, then when I went to go after/shut the door, Avalanche escaped, too. Apparently I was pregnant. I ran after them both and eventually Erin and I were driving around town searching for them. We went into a gas station at some point and asked the cashier, no luck. We went back on the road to look for them in the residential areas. I was driving but not paying attention to the road, suddenly a cop car passes us and turns around with its lights on. Suddenly I forget how to drive, but I'm super calm. Maybe this was the future.. The cop somehow was able to get his voice to go through Erin's phone and he said something and all I answered back was that I was still out looking for my dog and hadn't found him. I pulled into a parking lot ahead of us (again, having a hard time remembering how to drive). It seems like the cop stopped me because he knew I was pregnant and was worried about me stressing out.

-- this morning (in real life) I took my temperature and it shot up (I already ovulated). This is called a triphasic pattern when your temperature shoots up twice in one cycle. I think my stupid idiotic mind is subconsciously hopeful I'm pregnant. I was pregnant last November through the end of January when we lost the baby. Around the time the baby died my dog Bear died, and I cried buckets, and was so worried I'd miscarry and did anyways.. I think my body is just on high alert this time in case maybe I am pregnant. Which I highly doubt I am, but I think subconsciously I feel I might be, maybe. Too many months of not being pregnant, I don't want to get my hopes up over a triphasic pattern on my bbt chart. (It isn't an indicator of pregnancy anyways, it can happen without being pregnant, too.) Blah.

Will Smith Is Not My Cousin.

I dreamt I found this picture of me in this striped dull teal and white dress (age 5 or so) and I had these neon orange and green toy guns for earrings (like actual tiny toy gun-size) and this neon pink/orange/green necklace with circles all over.



Then I dreamt I was in this store, walking out. All of a sudden I found it hard to move my legs. My calves were too stiff, so I told Devin to hold on. Devin then tells me that Will Smith is shooting a film at the store and we were going to be in it, and I can't look like an idiot. I freaked out, I was walking wacky and I knew I'd make the movie director unhappy. I couldn't help but walk with one foot tippy-toed from how tight my calf was. Then a woman comes over and tells me she wants me to play a part in the movie as a cop. She starts walking me back into the store and through a hallway and I tell her "Is it because of my cousin?" thinking because my cousin in real life was a cop, but she laughs loudly, sarcastically. Then I realize she thinks that I think that Will Smith is my cousin. I don't correct myself but I made a fist in the air look thinking how dumb I sounded. She takes me to this back room. Then this guy tells me he remembers when I was little and he really wants me in the movie, I assume he's the director. He asks me if my mom "still gets herself into trouble sometimes?" I freak out, he acts creepy. Like he wants me, and he's wanted me since I was a kid. He's kind of older, too. Not my age. Late forties. I walk away thinking "Fuuuuck that shit, that dude is creepy and he's an ass for hating on my mom." The woman that took me back there follows me towards the parking lot again and we talk for awhile. The walmart hallway turns into an airport. I think I had a crush on the woman, maybe. Not sure.

Conspiracy.

Dreamt I was outside my old elementary school at night. A lot of men were outside, including my cousin Mark, an ex-cop. A bunch of guys started fighting and someone snaps another's neck. Mark tries to stop the fight and ultimately snaps someone else's neck to stop the fight. I don't know why, but Mark is on the ground as if something happened to him. There is a yellow liquid oozing out of his head. I run into the school and find my other cousin, his sister, Mel. I tell her what happened. I go back outside and all the men are in body bags. I start crying.

I also dreamt that my dog Moses got hit by a car, but survived. This surprised me and made me wonder if maybe my cat that got ran over in real life was still alive. I then thought there was some conspiracy going on. Throughout the rest of the dream, I saw cats constantly.

That Man I Shot

Dreamt that the personification Jack Frost took me out on a date. He starts out very Ville Valo-like, but as the dream progresses, he gets more on the husky side. It's nighttime and we're on a bus. I am sitting in the seat behind him and leaning in towards his seat with my arms around him. Then he disappears. As he disappears, I hear him tell me to find him. I get my sister Sarah and my boyfriend (lolol) Devin to help me find where he is. We search the coldest place on earth. We are walking carefully around this snowy mountain cliff. The path is narrow. Eventually the path leads to a house. We walk into this garage and up these stairs into this kitchen. I see a fridge and I open it. Icicles are EVERYWHERE. I keep walking through the house until I get to the living room. I tell Sarah and Devin that this is the house he planned for us to live in. I look out a window in the living room and notice two headlights parked about a quarter of a mile down the road. Then I see red and blue cop siren lights. Sarah and Devin and I start running off, thinking that Jack was in one of the cars parked on the side of the road, and that the cop probably killed him and was after us next. I run downstairs and into the garage, towards the door to the outside. Before I get out, a man with a knife walks in. I yell, "WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP!" I start blinking my eyes really wide, trying to wake myself up. Sarah and Devin look at me funny from my behavior. The guy with the knife then stabs my hand into the wall and wakes me up.

When I woke up, I was kind of disappointed. So I went back to sleep to try and find Jack. I locked myself in a basement. I had this HIM pin attached to my hat and I took the pin off to look at it and it was blank. It made me realize that Jack vanished off the face of the earth. He didn't exist anymore. I cried. Then I unlocked the door and the bad guy tried slashing me with a carving knife. I had a gun on me and tried shooting him but he wouldn't die. I finally shot myself in the head and woke up that way.

7/24/10 - Making All Kinds Of Nonsense.

Well, it's late and I forgot to write this one down. Anyways, I was half asleep and scribbled this this morning, so don't ask what I meant.




"Bodyguard for something. Using jeep (? jun? jen?) as a different car {? us?). Mopping floor. Messy house. Devin buys clamps for car part. Dating some girl. School. Sarah at bar. Nachos. In car, cops peeping."



Yeah, I was totes half-asleep.