Idiot..

Forgive me.. I cannot read my own handwriting sometimes, and even more so after only being awake for a few seconds:


Dreamt I was in my dad's front yard. (He lives in the woods and the long driveway actually comes to the side of the house with the yards on either side of view.. so it's debatable which is the front and which is the back. This is the side next to his kitchen window. I've always called it the front yard because it's the first part you see, even though the way the house is set up it would probably be called the backyard.. Moving on..) I remember sitting down in the grass because my foot felt funny. I took my shoe off and see that it is deformed. It was like there were a couple other toes attached to my left foot. It was weird.. I assumed that this happened because I had a baby (and I'm always thinking about how having her made my feet grow out of all my favorite pairs of shoes.. dammit all..) Then Devin had this brilliant plan (riiight) for me to get pregnant. I didn't understand this plan in my dream and of course I don't in my waking life, but he seemed to think he could sleep with some lady, and I with some guy, and that somehow in this plan he would still be the father of the baby I'd be carrying. Like somehow in that whole mess, all of the things I seem to be doing wrong might end up right, and this baby he would make with this lady, and this baby I would make with this man, would transfer only to me. Confusing, but whatever... I ended up breaking up with him because he seemed to eager to sleep with someone else, and I thought it was the dumbest idea ever.

Invention

Dreamt I was at this bar I go to in real life and one of the bartenders needed help, so I got behind the bar to help out. I hear a scratch at the door and I see my dog poking his head into the window, so I run over to let him in and somehow every time I try to open the door, an alarm goes off. Then I left and got into a car with my aunt and mother in the front seat, and in the back was this older blonde chick and me. We held hands at first and eventually held both. Then she went in to kiss me (annnnnd some), but I stopped her because I remembered I was still with Devin. Then I worked at this place where people used their credit card like a barcode against this USB stick-looking thing. It was really cool in my dream and I woke up thinking it would make a handy invention.

Visiting Dana In Madison.

My friend Dana spent the night here, so I dreamt that she and I were planning on having me come to Madison to see her. We were looking at our schedules and seeing what days worked.

There Is No Fate But What We Make For Ourselves.

Dreamt I was Linda Hamilton. :) lol. A meteor had hit Earth and I woke up and called for a private helicopter. Meanwhile, I walked to this building that is like a quarantine. While the staff there was trying to make sure I was alright, I was thinking to myself that in the future they would 'clean' me and find something strange and want to fix me, but in the process the way that they fix me makes me come into contact with something that ends up giving me cancer. I tell myself I need to make sure they don't fix me, this why I can change fate.

Dresses and Band-Tees.

I'm in this big shopping mall (although at times we stop at these big tables with food and ribbon laid about) and I'm with my friend and we are shopping for bridesmaid dresses. (I was in her wedding a few years ago with my sister and one of her friends, so they were also in the dream). We all had on these long, fancy, stiff brown dresses with burgundy sashes around our waists (except me, I had a white sash around my dress). The other girl that was a bridesmaid was not happy that I was wearing a white sash, because it sounded more special or something.

Then I dreamt that I was waiting in this long line to shuffle out of a concert (although the setting looked more like a sports arena with bleachers we were walking off of). I was with Devin and some random non-existant cousin of his. The cousin is wearing a Drive-By Truckers shirt and I mention it to Devin and he tells his cousin that I have a really large Drive-By Truckers shirt at home that we got once. (I don't really.) Apparently it was the last shirt they had or something. Then the cousin told us that you can always go back to where the concert was later on and see if they have the shirt in stock, because that happened to him once. (lol, I wish that really happened. I have a HUGE Kaki King sweater I'd like to be a bit smaller..) The line started to move and I decided to take a faster route and jumped down the top part of the bleachers and walked down a hallway and met up with Devin and his cousin again. Then the lines were turning into ten or so smaller lines, so we got in the closest line and saw more of Devin's (this time existent) family in line, so we chatted with them for a bit. I was talking to this little red-headed girl no older than four (she was being carried by her mom or dad) and I overheard my friend and her sister talking to Devin's mom. Her sister said something like, "Yeah, they're almost to their six-year anniversary now, I think." At first I thought they were talking about Devin and I. I tried to ignore it and pretend like I couldn't hear them, I didn't want to hear how long Devin and I have been together for some reason. Eventually I found out that they were talking about how old the little red-headed girl was.

Torture Show

Dreamt I was getting ready to go to this restaurant that had a very strange entertainment experience for the customers. My mom and sister were coming with me, and my sister was explaining to me what the restaurant does. While I was putting makeup on in the bathroom, she explained that while we eat, the waiters would have this competitive game of torture. We would have to endure as much as possible to gain some sort of reward every time we achieved one of the tortures. The example my sister gave me was that they might hit our hands with hammers and if we'd consent to it, we'd continue on to the next round. I walked out of the bathroom and into the dining room and there were a bunch of people. Not just in the dining room but in the living room and kitchen as well. My dad came home and, although he was still supposedly dating his girlfriend of now, he was still really civil towards my mom. I guess his girlfriend worked at a soda factory in my dream, because he brought home a few cases. I started telling everyone in the house about where we were going, and explained the rules and used the hammer-example my sister used, and they thought it was a dumb idea. (Duh.) The restaurant was in La Crosse, WI, and I remember telling everyone that it'd be broadcast on TV, so they should watch for us. I went outside to get into the van and realized I forgot music, so I went back inside to grab a Tegan & Sara CD, but an asian dude I don't really know in real life stopped me in the living room and asked me what channel we'd be on. He was flipping through channels on my real-life childhood clunky console television set we had. I told him I wasn't sure about which channel we would be on, but that I'd call him when I got to the van and asked mom.

Monkey Business

Dreamt I had these super powers and my dad was really proud of me. He gave me lots of attention, and it made my mom and sister (Sarah) extremely jealous from the attention I got, so this made my mom and sister real awful towards me. In my dream, I still lived with my family and that our normal one-story house was a two-story. I remember climbing out of the bedroom window and walking to the edge of the roof by the porch. Then I climbed down this dinky metal post we normally have that supports the roof to the porch. Then I ran through the woods, down the hill, to our pond we had on our property. I walked around the pond until I got to the swampy areas on our property. Then I wondered if there were snakes out yet, so I kind of freaked myself out and retreated back up to the house, but crept through the woods checking for my mom and sister. I saw that they were also in the woods planning how to kill me, but barely a few yards from our yard, so I kind of booked it away from the house back to the marsh. Then I saw this tree and tried to shimmy myself up it but it kept wanting to bend down and show I was in it because I was too heavy for the tree. Then the tree fell on my dad's camper that he has near the pond, and I jump off and kept walking. I get to this library and poke around in it and look at a few of the books on the shelves. I remember seeing a shelf of Piers Anthony books, only they were romance novels and the one I picked up had an island on the cover and the title had the word "autumn" in it. After setting the book down, I decide to use a computer and find a way to move away from home. Before I get to a computer I see (the musician) Sara Quin looking at a couple books in this area that looked more like it was set up for children. I get distracted from my idea to move away and walk over to her. We both start flirting, but after a couple minutes I see my mom and sister walk in. I quickly hide under this table and Sara hides under it with me. We both are scared and hold hands. Then Sara turns into a monkey (waaah, I wanted human Sara back) and my mom notices this Sara-monkey. The setting changes and I'm walking down the driveway back to my house and my mom is trying to coax Sara-monkey to come home with us (because in my real life, my mom has wanted a monkey since she was a child). Sara-monkey is scared and hides behind a tree and doesn't really want my mom to be near her at all. I woke up at some point.

Fuck This, I'm Moving To Canada.

Today I dreamt there was this body buried under ground and I had to dig him up. The strange thing is, I was able to control my dream completely. I mean, I thought I could before this but not this well. I started to dig him up, but the ground was linoleum.. I thought "This can't be right. This has to be dirt." So the linoleum switched to dirt! And then I was able to dig the person up.

Before that, though, I dreamt I was moving to Canada to live with Sara Quin. Geez, I wish.

7/6/10 - Argument Over The Cork Board.

This morning I had a dream that my sister, my mother, and my aunt all moved into a tiny trailer. I remember when I first looked inside the trailer, there were beds in the kitchen (because it really was a tiny trailer), but when I looked a second time, the only beds that were visible once stepping in the door right away was this bench with a soft covering over it, which was L-shaped around a corner. Anyways, the funny part of the dream was that I remember looking in the cupboards and when I opened up one of the doors I noticed this cork board material inside the door, so I mentioned to my sister that it would make a good place to put notes and things.. To which she replied that she noticed it, too. Then we started complaining about who thought of the idea first.

Awhile before that part, though, I remember I was looking at this piece of paper and it said something about how if your breathing is "patternless" (that word I remember was on the paper), then you might have heart failure. I remember I was trying to breathe in and out in a pattern after that and I think I might have been half asleep and saw myself sleeping and holding my stomach and trying to breathe steadily in real life, too.

Moving

• To dream that you are moving away, signifies your desire or need for change. It may also mean an end to a situation or relationship; you are moving on. Alternatively, it indicates your determination and issues regarding dependence/independence.

Debate

• To dream that you are in a debate, symbolizes some inner turmoil or conflict that you are experiencing. It also means that you will find closure to those unresolved issues.

Heartbeat

• To hear a heartbeat in your dream, suggests that you are not confronting or recognizing your feelings. You need to approaching thing head-on. Alternatively, a heartbeat may symbolize life or fear. Perhaps, you are feeling threatened in some way.